God indeed works in ways we don’t know, but we can always be assured that everything’s for our own good.
I was feeling a bit down again the past few days. Insecure thoughts and emotions kept feeding my mind and my heart. I kept seeking for God’s answers and leading, but I can’t seem to hear Him. I was feeling lost all over again.
But I still chose to hang on to God. I continued praying and seeking and praying and seeking God.
This morning, I was not feeling that giddy to go to church and volunteer in the Kids’ Ministry so I texted my churchmate and coordinator that I can’t take on my duty for this Sunday. I, however, felt uneasy after I sent the message so I closed my eyes and tried to contemplate on my decision. In the end, I decided to text my coordinator that I will attend the ministry today. I know in my heart that God would not like it if I will not fulfill my Sunday’s duty to the church just because I’m feeling ‘tamad’ hence, the uneasiness.
And I great choice I made for eventhough I had to wake up early and spend half of my rest day taking care of the toddlers in the church, I felt good and happy because I’m serving God. And another wonderful thing was that I felt God talked to me through my fellow volunteer whom I’ve just met this morning. Leorey.
Leorey is 6 years my junior. She’s new in the Kids’ Ministry but she’d been part of the Ushering and Creative Ministry since 2007. I believe that girl was blessed with a compassionate heart to talk to people about their problems and worries and direct those negative thoughts and tribulations to triumphs and enlightenment through her encouraging Godly meesages. Her words deeply struck me though they were not really something new. In fact, I’ve been hearing about those preachings every now and then and I’ve read about it in the Bible a number of times. The way she delivered it and explained it to me, however, made a big difference. It honestly felt like God was the one talking to me when she spoke those words to me. And when she prayed for me, I really felt relief and victory. It was as if I became empowered and once again ready to face the next battles.
I believe God used Leorey to enlighten me and release me from the burden I’m carrying in my heart now. The past few days, I felt the deep silence of God. I’ve been seeking and seeking His answers but He never reveal them to me. Instead, He kept on implying in my heart that all I need to do is wait and relax–almost the same thing that Leorey told me this morning. I realized I’ve been more of a worrier than a believer the past days that I was not able to hear and feel God.
After my fellowship with Leorey and with Khaye, I felt relieved and blessed. It was as if I found my way to dreaming and hoping again. Indeed, God works in ways we don’t know. WHo would have thought that just going to the church and volunteering in the ministry, i would be able to understand and fix this dilemma that’s been ruining my system for days now? Only God could really show us the way. I’m glad I decided to stick to God and held on to His wonderful promises than listen to what the devil in my mind is saying.
Note: repost from Blogger site ( March 2010)