I have this thing in me that’s called DEADLY PARANOIA. Define that? Okay, here it is.
Take 1. Sometimes, I don’t like attending meetings in the church where I used to attend regularly kse I felt that people there are talking about me not being active in the church anymore. I know for sure that’s not true but still, I let myself be affected with that nonsensical thoughts in my head.
Take 2. The last time I attended a service in that church was I think January pa. The reason: same reason as Take 1. I don’t feel welcomed anymore. Then again, I know that’s super not true but the paranoid me still chose to concede with the other thought.
Take 3. Whenever I walk into the room full of people, I am so paranoid that all eyes will look at me and observe whatever it is I’m wearing. i mean, not that I look so stunning and all; it’s just that I’m super praning.
Take 4. I hate being late in a meeting (but I always do). i don’t like it that all eyes will look at me when I enter the room and their attention will be diverted to me. If only I could just sneak or crawl inside without them noticing me.
Those are just some of my paranoia issues. I still have a lot in store. And right now, I want to burn all those pa in store. I just want to get rid of them for the rest of my life. They’re just so unhealthy to keep. I know for sure they will just ruin me and will take my sanity away. Ayoko nang maging adik!
The solution? It’s could be found in Psalm 55:22–CAST YOUR CARES UNTO THE LORD.
Perhaps, I have not been trusting HIm well enough that’s why I am allowing these paranoia to overcome the best of me. Or perhaps, I put my trust on my own alone thinking this issue is not an issue that should be lifted to God.
Whatever. I know worrying and paranoia are things that don’t come from God. So since I’m His daughter, I should totally eradicate these things from my system. I know doing that is not easy since there are things and obstacles in my everyday life which will prompt me to worry again, but knowing that I have a good Father in heaven who is always by my side and protecting me, I know I only need to say a word and He will take away those negative thoughts from my mind.
1 Peter 5:6,7 6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
note: repost (june 2010)