(repost from my Multiply site–written four years ago)
“Make a decision to leave your past experiences and even present struggles and follow God…”
Frankly now, I feel like I’m at the middle of two roads. The road on one side is telling me to go on and continue walking to that same road and don’t be influenced with the things I’m learning and discovering. While as, the one on the other side is really enticing me to go on and walk through it, as if a great promise is really awaiting me there.
Right now, I’m in the middle of making a very big decision in my life. That is whether to continue living with my Catholic faith or join the fellowship of many Christian believers.
For almost 24 years of my existence, I am a devoted Catholic. i studied in a Catholic school, known and memorized all the Catholic prayers, chants, and practiced their traditions. I am a baptized Catholic. In all those years, I thought that there’s no other religion that’s worthy of God’s love and blessings than the Catholics.
Nonetheless, an incident in my life made me understand the true meaning of faith more and realized a lot of things about life. Thanks to a very dear friend–a college classmate whom i never thought I’d be very closely connected with since we were literally two different souls. While she’s the demure and silent type, I’m the loud and laid-back one. This very special friend introduced me again to Jesus. She patiently reminded me of God’s wonderful promises and His love. This friend never fail to put God’s loving words in my ears–which later on, succesfully penetrated my mind and my heart.
I must admit, I feel a lot different now. I mean, i’m still the old Apple–the balahura, the maharot, the girl who makes you feel you’re inside a saklaan when she’s laughing. Yes, you may not see that change in me, but believe me, there is. Perhaps, it’s because the change occured inside of me. I feel a lot closer with God now.
Eversince that day that I wholeheartedly accepted Him in my life, that day that I surrendered my all to HIm, i never felt so far away from Him, not even an inch. I feel like He is always with me. I am still not wordly rich and I haven’t achieved all my dreams yet, but I feel a lot blessed now.
To be perfectly frank and honest, I’ve been a devoted Catholic for almost all my life but I never really felt this way before–this wonderful closeness with God. Evertime I meet with Vannah (the friend I’m referring to during the first part) to have a Bible study or sharing, I could feel more and more the nearness of God and His presence in my life. When i first attended the church service at Victory Christian Fellowship, that was the first time that the words of God brought tears on my eyes. I could feel the depth of every word that Jesus was saying in the Bible.
And this, basically, is the reason why I’m torn between two roads now. I don’t know if it’s proper to leave my Catholic faith behind and follow my heart and surrender myself to Christianity. To be honest, my heart already has a decision. It’s just that I’m afraid of what my family will say, especially my pops who is a very devoted Roman Catholic. I know deciding to walk down the road to Christianity also means turning my back on all the religious traditions, beliefs, and etc. that i grew up with. And yes, it also means walking the other way every Sunday while my whole family is leading the other way.
This morning, when I attended the service at VCF, I honestly felt that God is talking to me through the words of the Pastor. “Make a decision to leave the past experiences and your present struggles and follow God…”
The Pastor repeated this adage for so many times this morning. And it really struck me. It felt like God is telling me to leave all my fears, my anxieties, and everything that’s been stopping me from following Him. And as what the Pastor said, I was not there through mere coincidence. I was put there because i was bound to hear those words that God wanted me to hear.
When we all stood up and prayed, I felt like crying. Oh well, I was almost crying–though I just put forth all my effort to stop my tears since I’m not used to crying with strangers around me. Furthermore, I could feel so much emotion when we started singing our praise songs.
When i walked out of that room, I’m certain I’d already made a decision. I know God already decided for me. never mind if my pops would hate me if he’ll found out about it. And never mind if my whole family–both sides–would condemn me for doing this. I know I am making the right decision since I am doing this all for the glory of God.
This coming October, i will be joining all the other believers who decided to follow God and lead a life according to His will–in the true sense. I am now ready to be baptized a Christian. And i know that it’ll be one of the most special, remarkable, and blessed decision i’ve done in my life.
I recently found out that Oliver was also a baptized Christian. I really have no idea that he was a baptized Christian, though I know that he did attend the Christian services before since his elder brother is a Pastor in one of the Christian fellowships in the country. Somehow, this discovery made me decide to take the road to Christianity all the more–though it’s not the reason why I will be doing this. Perhaps, God only added that thing to spice up more His welcome for me. It feels so great that the only man I love was a devout Christian.
I am now a Christian. It’s still a month before I will be baptized a true member of the fellowship but I know in my heart that I am now a full Christian since I’d already accepted Jesus Christ wholeheartedly in my life. And yes, I am more excited about life now since I know that from today till eternity, I’ll be devoting my whole life loving Jesus and glorifying His wonderful name.
A bunchful of thanks to Vannah, to Elay, to Matt, to Stephie, the Loved Flock Catholic Charismatic Community, and all the people who’d helped me understand God’s word more. God really made use of you to help me know Him further.
“God can use us to do mighty exploits regardless of our backgrounds..”