I rarely hear the small voice of God. I always long for it but I fail to hear it as often as I would want to. In my quiet times, one thing that I always look forward to is that wonderful moment that I could get to hear His still small voice.
Before I became a Christian, I didn’t think that it was really possible to hear God’s voice. I had this notion then that God would only listen to my prayers but He would not let His voice be heard by a ‘commoner’ like me. I thought then that His voice was also exclusive for the really spiritual ones.
But God proved me wrong about that notion the second time last May 15, a Sunday, during my quiet time with Him. I was reading the book of Judges in the Bible and I was already in the story of Gideon. Just a brief backgrounder, Gideon was a young man from the tribe of Manasseh. During that time, Gideon’s family was the least in the said tribe and he was the weakest in their clan. That was why when the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon one day, he was apprehensive when the angel told him he was going to save the Israelites from the Midianites. He just couldn’t believe that God would pick him from the other much stronger and worthy men from their tribes.
But God chose Gideon. Despite him belonging to the least clan in the Tribe of Manasseh and him being the weakest in that clan, still God chose him.
I don’t know why but as I uttered my prayer to God that time, I felt like the words didn’t just come from me but from God. The moment I said the words “I am not invisible in Your eyes,” the tears went down from my eyes. I knew that very moment that God was really talking to me, that He was really making me hear His voice. God told me that I should not feel small or that I don’t matter at all because He could see me. He could see me worshipping Him and even if I’m just one among those many people singing praises to Him on a Sunday service at church, I matter so much to Him and that He appreciates everything about me. That even if sometimes I feel like I’m a loser, God still finds favor in me and that He puts great trust in my ability.
I cried that time because I was in great awe of God. He is indeed a personal God. I just couldn’t contain the overflowing love and reverence to God that I felt that time that my tears just couldn’t stop from flowing.
My prayer to God after that was for that feeling to always reside in my heart; that that overwhelming feeling would be my shield everytime the enemy will put words of anger and insecurity in my heart and mind; and that I would just dwell in His loving presence all the days of my life.
I am not at all a good person. I failed God a million of times in my life. But that precious moment when He let me hear His voice, I just felt God was telling me that His loving will forever be unconditional.
God will never turn His back from us.
I just hope and pray that I could give back to Him even at least a portion of that kind of love He’s been showering me since the day I was born. I hope and pray I could love Him enough not to hurt Him by doing wicked things and to consider Him first and foremost in everything that I do.
I pray that as I continue this wonderful walk with Him, one of these days, I will be that kind of daughter God desires me to be.