Dear you: I’m the one that got away.

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I did like you, but she loves you. And for that, she deserves you more.

I met you at such a time when I least expect that feeling to knock in my heart again. Yes, that’s cliche. And yes, that’s true. I traveled miles away from home not to feel that feeling again, but to find another piece of home in a foreign land and to pursue my passion  and calling. And then you happened.

Life has a series of firsts. And in some of the many firsts in my life, you were there. You were in that scene when I first experienced the felicity of singing a particular song just because it was about us. I’ve kept a good number of memories with you. How you made me feel on a high without you realizing it just because I’m very good at pretending they were just usual stuff for me. But believe me, they all made a mark in me.  I’d say those were lovely to keep in my memory box.

No, we were never together. There wasn’t any label at all. I’d say we were like those ‘almost’ stuff we usually see in movies.We just didn’t end the way they ended in movies. It was a sudden end. You know, those types where the other one will still keep on thinking why everything ended.

And it was me who WAS left wondering. While you went on creating new chapters in your life, I was left thinking why the sweet days had to end.

For a while I thought the pain will take a long time to heal. Surprisingly, it didn’t. Yes, I still think of you. I still remember you whenever I hear those songs or pass by those particular places. I did spend a couple of months trying to move on from where we left off. But seeing you again after almost a year, I just know that that was the closure that I needed. That’s what I needed to finally end this delusion that we still have it.

I like you. But that won’t be enough to make me compromise my standards and my beliefs. You were almost perfect for me. I almost darkened all my checked boxes when I met you. But that one thing that is very important to me and that would help me determine if you are ‘the one,’ that’s the only box that was left un-checked. And I wouldn’t dare give that one up for the thrill of having someone.

We don’t share the same love for Jesus.

You may say I’m too righteous and I’ve set my bar too high. Yes, I do. I’ve waited long enough for God’s best for me and I wouldn’t want to play along the curves just for that ‘in a relationship’ status.

We’ve lost that bond. But I’m happy to keep my principle. As you’ve told me before, you admire me for being able to keep my standards and keeping firm about it. And I will still keep that until that rightful person comes along.

If there’s one thing I feel sad about losing us, it’s the friendship. We weren’t able to save it. I knew we tried but it just can’t be the same again.

I’ve been seeing your photos with the girl. You seemed happy. And being happy for you was the decision I’ve made that night we met again and you talked to me about her. Yes, I did like you, but she loves you. And for that, she deserves you more.

I’d like to believe our episode already ended. You are happy creating new memories with her and I’m happy and contented waiting for God’s rightful one for me. I don’t know until when the waiting will be, but I trust God’s process and timing. As for you, I wish you well. I do hope you will not forget me wherever you will go. Well at least, I hope you will keep me in your memory box as well as I’ll be keeping you in mine. You made me happy for that particular episode of my life and you deserve that spot.

Until we meet again. Maybe in one of the streets of this city. Or maybe somewhere in this world.

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