It’s been a long time since I last posted an item in this particular category in my blog. Not that I backslid with my faith or something. And no I didn’t fall away. Perhaps I became too busy with work, with other stuff in my life and even the ministry that I wasn’t able to pen down my thoughts about God and my journey with Him. Seems like I actually have time for myself because I can go out with my friends and do different stuff but I don’t really have time for myself. It’s confusing, I know, but I’m sure you can get the picture.
I became so busy with my life and “worrying” about life that I felt I got lost in sync with my writer self. I could still write for my clients and other writing requirements from work, but I just found myself taking a long while before I could write something from the heart of late. I felt like I don’t have ‘it’ anymore. I was afraid that I lost it because of the busyness and other things occupying my day to day life now.
When I had my staycation in a hotel during one of the holidays here in Vietnam, I even brought five different books to inspire me to write again. But I ended up going home without even a simple entry to my blog.
Before, I could write a blog in just one sitting. Nowadays, it will take me hours staring at a blank page of my blog. And usually, I just end up clicking the X button and hitting ‘shut down’ just because I couldn’t start it at all. I became insecure and incapable.
I prayed about it to God. I laid it down to Him and asked Him to give it to me again because writing is something I’m passionate to do. I want to write passionately again. I want to string words together again with so much passion that the people who read it could actually feel it and perhaps, relate to. I want to write again without thinking of what some people will say about it.
No, this is not a matter of life and death. But it’s something dear to me that’s why this post deserves a spot in my blog.
I think same goes for the songwriters and the singers or some actors. It will frustrate them at one point when they can’t do their craft passionately anymore like they used to. And writing is my craft. It’s something that God blessed me with so I want to use it to inspire people and to tell them stories about my journey with life and with God. That’s why I feel frustrated that I can’t do it comfortably as I did before.
But now that I’ve already reached over 500 words and I’m already near the end of this post, and it’s not a blank page anymore, I know God is already working in my brains. It’s a great start to welcome me back to the world of words. And it’s not because I’m a writer that I can do this, but it’s because God is my God even with my simple frustrations like this. He answered me like a father helping his daughter open the stuck zipper of her bag.
This is not a blank page anymore because God helped me fill this page with words. I know I have it again because of Him:-)