Nap Time Thoughts of A Preschool Teacher

32739-Nap-Time-For-Baby-Pandas

Nap time. One of my favorite parts of the day in school right now. A lot of random thoughts usually run in my mind during this time as I watch my students sleep beside each other,

I wonder how many of them will actually meet again maybe 15-20 years after their kindergarten days and fall in love with each other? What are the odds? Probabilities?

I wonder if they will ever remember that they once slept beside each other during nap time in preschool before. Will they ever remember that they once shared a spoon of ice cream just because the little boy still wants some ice cream and the little girl was kind enough to give him a spoonful of it? Will the little boy remember that he once grabbed the toy truck from the little girl just because he thinks trucks are just for boys? Will the little girl remember that she once cried so loud because of that little boy or will she just remember how she laughed at the funny antics of the little boy when they were playing with the wooden blocks at the construction corner? Will both of them remember how they made a good team trying to build a tower with those blocks and not letting their other classmates join in on the fun just because that moment was exclusively theirs?

How many of these kids will have their hearts broken before they even reach their puberty stage? The kind of heart ache that seemed just a tiny piece of wound but could actually give so much effect in his/her growing up years? The kind of wound that you thought you have forgotten already but could actually haunt you and make you remember that pain once you meet someone again and try your chance on falling in love again. I wonder who among them will end up best friends for life? Or who will end up as “just friends” just because they tried it but they realized they are better off as friends?

I have more than a dozen young, innocent souls in my classroom of happiness now. Each of them has a distinct personality that makes them different from one another. Each is special in his/her own way. Each of them amuses me in their own lovely way. Sometimes while waiting for them to close their eyes and fall asleep during nap time, I just can’t help but imagine how the romance part of their lives will turn out to be. Who will fall in love with who? Who will have his/her heartbroken by who? Who will end up getting married to each other? Will there be someone from that class who would actually try to look for his/her classmate after so many years just to let him/her know that he/she once a had a huge crush on him/her? Will there be someone who will be bold enough to confess his/her feelings?

Maybe I am just a plain hopeless romantic that even at those down times when I can just rest my body from half a day of extensive work in school and prepare myself for the next half to cap off the day, I just can’t hold off my mind from thinking about those random stuff.

Or perhaps, deep inside my heart, I just want all of them to experience the kind of wonderful love they all deserve. Because they all deserve to be loved in a special way. No matter how they piss me off sometimes with their rowdiness, I have to admit that I’ve grown so fond of each and everyone of them. And yes, I do love them. I love the fact that I am their teacher and they think of me as their mommy in school. And like a real mommy, I want them to find the love they all deserve in the future. If only I can shield them from heartbreak by teaching them about the Dos and Don’ts of falling in love, but even me myself is still a student of that lesson. I am still learning. I haven’t mastered that yet, and perhaps I never will. I just hope that no matter how many heartbreaks they will experience or how deep the pain they would experience in the future, my little angels will still continue believing in love and that they will not lose hope that they can also find and experience true love. I hope that when they get their hearts broken, they will remember how they were in Kindergarten — cry so loud and then move on like as if nothing happened. I hope they will not dwell too much on the pain but instead, use those pains to become a better person in life and in love.

If only I can tell these to them. But I’d rather not spoil the mystery of life and love to them. I will let them discover on their own how wonderful it is to live, to find love, to fall in love, to lose it and find it again. Anyway, they are still too young to fathom the complexities of it all. For the meantime, I will just let them play and enjoy the simplicity of life in their little perfect world.

Advertisements

One Day…

Nature-LonleyWomanWatchingSunset

 

One day, I know everything will change.

Things will not be the same as they used to be.

We will be living our own separate lives.

One day, we might be deprived of the chance to see each other again.

Communication might just become another luxury thing to do.

One day, you might pass by that place we once shared happy moments at and you might remember me.

The exact place where we sat, sang, ate, laughed, or even cried together.

I hope that when you will  recall those times, you will smile.

A simple smile that could make visible the happiness in your heart at the thought that once upon a time, we became very special friends.

One day, you will just be part of my memory.

The songs we once sang together will just be part of my life’s old playlist,

Songs, which when played, will definitely bring back good, old, sweet memories.

One day, I might  be looking at old photos of us together and smile at how we were once inseparable.

One day, I know I won’t be able to let my tears stop to flow when I remember all of the times we’ve shared.

Just thinking that this special bond might one day end, I could already feel a deep pinch in my heart.

I hope when that day will come that we will just be part of each other’s memory, you will not forget me.

You will not forget all our happy and sad moments with each other.

I hope that I will not be just ‘another used to be’ in your life.

I hope that even when technology can no longer bring us closer, you will still remember me.

I hope that you will remember me with a smile and still keep for me a special spot in your heart.

As for me, your place in my heart is already guaranteed.

No one can ever take that place even if I will meet thousands of people.

I will never forget that once in my life, I met you and you became a very special part of my existence.

One day, I will look back at our times together and I know, I would still be wishing for them to happen all over again.

You are one of my favorite episodes in my life’s story.

Your impact in my life will go on until I breathe my last.

I hope you know how thankful I am for your life and your friendship.

But until that day, I am hoping we can be friends for as long as we can stand each other’s silly jokes and dramas.

I am seriously hoping that ‘one day’ will not happen very soon.

Because I am already used to having you around….

My Random Thoughts While Watching MAN OF STEEL

Okay, so these are just some crazy, spur-of-the-moment thoughts I had while watching Man of Steel and munching on free cheese popcorn na kasama sa movie ticket na binayaran mo kapag sa Lucky Chinatown Mall cinema ka nanood:

1. I wonder why palagi na lang USA ang unang nakakaalam kapag may alien or end of the world effect at palaging sila ang bida? Bida bida lang? Hindi ba pwedeng sa Asia naman maipatapon ang susunod na Superhero? Or better yet, sa Pilipinas naman ang next na landing ni Clark Kent?

2. On second thought, baka nga naman hindi kayanin ng Pilipinas ang pangwasak na fighting scenes nila Superman at ni General Zod at baka matagalan bago maka-move on ang Pilipinas sa total damage cost ng fighting scenes na yan, so mabuti na ngang sa US na lang silang dalawa.

3. Bakit palaging hindi nasisira ang mga sementeryo sa movies nila? At take note, parang walang nangyaring delubyo sa sobrang peaceful ng itsura ng sementeryo nila!

4. Paano nakarating agad si Lois Lane dun sa final venue ng ligwakan ni Superman at ni General Zod? Hindi makapagantay si teh si moment nila ni kuya kaya agad-agad nasa scene na bigla?

5. Tanong ng badet ko na pinsan: bakit laging babae dapat ang kapartner ng mga super hero na lalaki? Hindi ba pedeng bading naman sa next? May discrimination!

6. Mahilig magsampay ng telang pula ang foster mommy ni Clark Kent kaya ayun, nainspire si kuya na gawing cape ang mga telang pula ni mamah!

7. Hindi pala ako pedeng maging girlfriend ni Superman. Mahina ako sa instructions.

8. Hindi ko talaga sya pedeng maging boyfriend dahil takot ako sa heights. Hindi ko keri ang makipag sweet-sweet-an sa kanya sa himpapawid. At baka pag may fight scenes na at ako’y mahuhulog sa helicopter, hindi pa man ako lumalagpak sa lupa, tegi na ako dahil inatake na ako sa puso sa ere pa lang.

Yun lang naman. Ito’y mga walang kwentang tanong at kuro-kuro lang naman habang pinapanood ko ang Man of Steel at napapabalikwas ako sa mga effect na fight scenes nila. Sadyang ganyan lang ako–madaldal ang utak. In all fairness, naaliw ako sa kanya 🙂 Salamat sa libre! 😀

 

Penchants and Fancies

This is some random thoughts of someone who’s supposed to write something but is presently being walloped with writer’s block. Might as well just blog it away.

Oh well. These are the things that I’m very much fancying at the moment:

Wooden clothespins.

Christmas-Card-Wreath-Clothes-Pin

il_fullxfull.388821320_q5z1

Pre-class-Activities-007

Buttons.

buttons_makes_me_happy_by_x_ZaKuLi_x

Pastel checkered patterns.

12972653-seamless-pattern-pastel-pink-and-white-gingham-check-background

Quilts.

Wooden planks.

3474194-140407-weathered-painted-color-wooden-plank.jpg

7825734-wooden-wall-planks.jpg

the-planks.jpg

Hanging banners.

Hanging photos.

photo courtesy of Stacy’s.

And just about anything that’s hanging.

Candy Jars.

Recyclable glass bottles

Dotted Cloth Strips

Tin cans for recycling.

Country style houses.

White interiors with some pastel colors for accent.

Wooden park bench.

Wooden park bench facing the lake.

And I’m still loving peppermint! Anything minty at that.

Okay, so after posting the first 12 photos above, I’m feeling frenzied now to do some crafty stuff. I was never creative–I don’t even know how to cut a straight line!. Perhaps being a preschool teacher inspired me to be one. That’s why I love my job ultimately. It allows me to think out of the box when it comes to designing the classroom and providing art activities for the kids. However, this could also mean that I have to keep every box given to me and every ribbons of every gifts I received and even some paper bags and every piece of loose button I could find on the floor. But I love that I’m enjoying doing crafts now— even if I don’t really know if I’m good at it. What matters is i’m enjoying what I’m doing and it also serves as my relaxing pill.

The last 4 photos….I just feel good whenever I browse for photos like those. I would want them to be part of my future 🙂

Creative juices all rising up now. Better start writing now!

Random Thoughts of a 20-something who is dreading the coming of the big 30.

Okay, so this will be the last year that I would be included in the 20-something group of people. In a matter of months and days, I will be saying goodbye to my 20-something life and say hello to the big 30.

You see, I don’t think I’m already prepared for it–that shift from 2 to 3 in my age and everything that comes along with it. I may be overreacting at some point but really, I’m just being realistic here. Not all women in the world would rejoice at the thought that they’re going to enter the 30-something age on their next birthday. In fact, when you try to Google for topics on being 30, you can see a lot of blog posts about that–how to deal with it, get over it and celebrate it.

And maybe, just maybe, I’m part of that big chunk of women who are somehow, cringing at the thought of being 30.

Or perhaps, I’m just having some case of hormonal imbalance while I’m blurting these out on this post that I couldn’t just stop myself from typing the thoughts running through my mind right now.

Alright, so being 30 doesn’t really have to be so scary, right? I mean I know it would make a good number of changes in my life, my thoughts, and even in my body, but still, it’s just a number!

Okay, that was me trying to convince myself that being 30 is nothing to be scared of.

Oh please! I just want to be 30 and be done with that being-30-syndrome!

I don’t know what will happen when I finally reach that age.

Surely, i will still be living with my mom and my sister and I will still be sleeping with my mom and my sister on the same bed.

I will still be teaching in a small preschool few steps from our house and will still be working online for a social media company in the afternoon.

I’m hoping I could finish my Certificate in Professional Education course by next year and praying so hard that I would be able to pass the Licensure Exam for Teachers so I could have an additional government ID in my pretty yellow gold CHARLIE wallet given by one of the sweet parents in my former school.

When I become 30, I would still be serving our church as one of its semi-active volunteers in some ministries, and perhaps doing a couple of one2one’s.

When I become 30, I would still be friends with my highshool friends and we would still be spending some out of town getaways and dinner dates with each other and post pictures and brand ourselves #posers (and yes, that really comes with a hashtag).

When I become 30, I would still be enjoying and loving the company of my church friends–the people who’ve helped me become less than warfreak and mean and who’ve inspired me to become the best person I could be.

When I become 30, I would still be friends with my guy friends to whom I’ve never imagined being romantically involved with. These guy friends would still text me at the wee hours with messages that would say: “TSONG!” or “Beks!” or even calls me to invite me to some get-together, or even replies with my forwarded quotes with: “Ang arte mo! Magpakita ka naman!” But seriously, I really appreciate these guy friends of mine because even if they NEVER see me as a woman in the entire time that we’ve known each other, I know that they love and care for me.

When I become 30, I would still be looking forward to laughter-filled bonding moments with my Moonlighting friends☺ I will still be the ‘maarte’ and RK of them all!

When I become 30, I would still be friends with my friends whom I might never see often but will always have a special place in my heart.

When I become 30, I would still be ‘kuripot’ or maybe even more since I believe I need to have more savings. I would still be budgeting my money between tithes, bills, travel funds, allowances for the entire month, buffers, some donations, and savings.

When I become 30, I would still have my mood swings. There will still be days when I feel like singing in the rain or smiling at every people in the streets just as there will also be days when I feel like the world’s totally against me and only watching a feel-good Koreanovela could make me feel good.

When I become 30, I would still be a fan of Vic Sotto, Joey de Leon  and Eat Bulaga and swoon over Bamboo, Ely Buendia, and Lee Min Ho.

When I become 30, I would still want to buy every book I find interesting in the bookstore but I will surely never be able to finish reading them–although I’m hoping I could.

When I become 30, I would still be stalking the Sotto clan in Instagram and be amazed at how close they are with each other.

When I become 30, I might still be reading Patty Laurel’s blog and still be inspired of her noble act of pursuing a teaching career rather than being in the limelight.

When I become 30, I would still be a fan of Hillary Burton a.k.a Peyton Sawyer of One Tree Hill and I will still be randomly watching some One Tree Hill episodes that I like the most.

When I become 30, I would still be the “ate” of my younger cousins whom they think is the best friend of Mother Nature and who will always remind them not to throw their litters on the floor but in the trashcan and never to waste water and paper.

When I become 30, I might still find myself crying whenever I hear Phil Collins’ song “You’ll Be In My Heart” because it would still remind me of my former babies in my former school. I might also be looking at their photos in the school’s Facebook page and I couldn’t promise still that tears will not fall down whenever I do that.

When I become 30, I would still be the only sister of my sister who will still have petty quarrels with her and nags her when her shoes is left outside of the shoe cabinet again or the towel she just used isn’t put out in the patio for drying or when there are too many bags left on the iron board.

When I become 30, I would still be the eldest daughter of my Mother to whom she couldn’t hide her overspending with trivial stuff with because I will surely talk to her about it. I will still be her daughter who is sometimes her ally and sometimes her antagonist.

When I become 30, who knows? I might become more mature not to make a big deal out of small stuff or not to entertain insecure thoughts and feelings (really hope I would!). I might also opt to spend less time with people who don’t make me feel good about myself or people who often says “i miss you” but never really find the time to see you or spend time with you.

When I become 30, I would still have my connection with the family of my late boyfriend. I would still visit his grave every once in a while and I would still think of him and dream of him especially when I hear a song that reminds me of him.

When I become 30, I might not still meet ‘the one” that God has planned for me but I will try not to give too much thought on that since I’ve grown to believe that women were created to just wait for that person and do what God desires for her to do and God will take care of every details of her love story (all thanks to the book Lady in Waiting, which I haven’t finished yet!).

When I become 30, I would still be serving and praising Jesus and I will still be singing songs of worship for Him. I do hope, though, that I would be able to be more deliberate in spending my quiet time with Him.

And seriously, I do think that writing those stuff above really did help me be more optimistic about being 30. Some 30 minutes ago, I was feeling soooo pathetic over being 30 in the next couple of months, but listing down those “when I become 30” thing somehow made me realize that being 30 doesn’t mean changing everything about your life. Hey, I could still do the things I do when I was 20-something when I hit the big 30!

Really, writing my thoughts is actually one way for me to communicate with myself. Maybe, I just need to see in black and white what my mind is thinking just so I could have some realizations slapped on my face.

And then again, I’m not sure of what I would be feeling again tomorrow. Or what I would be thinking and contemplating again. Sometimes, this habit of contemplating about life is just getting the best of me.

But still, at least I have another entry posted on this blog:-)

Beyond Forgetting (Rolando Carbonell)

Image

For a moment I thought I could forget you.

For a moment I thought I could still the restlessness in my heart.

I thought the past could no longer haunt me — nor hurt me.

How wrong I was.

For the past, no matter how distant, is as much a part of me as life itself.

And you are part of that life.

You are so much a part of me — of my dreams, my early hopes, my youth and my ambitions — that in all my tasks I can’t help remembering you.

Many little delights and things remind me of you.

Yes, I came.

And would my pride mock my real feelings?

Would the love song, the sweet and lovely smile on your face,

be lost among the deepening shadows?

I have wanted to be alone.

I thought I could make myself forget you in silence and in song…

And yet I remembered.

For who could forget the memory of the once lovely, the once happy world such as ours?

I came because the song that I kept through the years is waiting to be sung.

I cannot sing it without you.

The song when sung alone will lose the essence of its tune, because you

and I have been one.

I have wanted this misery to end

because it is part of my restlessness.

Can’t you understand?

Can’t you divine the depth and the tenderness of my feelings towards you?

Yes, can’t you see how I suffer in this even darkness without you?

You went away because you mistook my silence for indifference.

But silence, my dear, is the language of my heart.

How could I essay the intensity of my love when silence speaks a more eloquent tone?

But, perhaps, you didn’t understand.

Remember, I came because the gnawing loneliness is there and

will not be lost until the music is sung,

until the poem is heard,

until the silence is understood,

until you come to me again.

For you alone

can blend the music and memory

into one consuming ecstasy.

You alone.

***a poem that consorted me during my time of wretchedness some years ago; a poem that very well expressed in words what my heart was inching to scream back then…A poem I will forever hold dear in my heart for it never fails to remind me that I was once lost, but through the loving grace of God, I was found again.”

 

This is my 12.12.12. post.

Why my tears just won’t stop falling for Sec.Robredo

Yes, I don’t know him personally. In fact, I just became aware of his existence in 2010 when he was named as the new DILG Secretary under the Noynoy Aquino government. Being just a semi-current events person, I even thought that the reason why I’ve been seeing his face on the news then was because he was corrupt or there were complaints about him.

But I must admit that even as I was not yet sure of the news about him then, Sec. Robredo already charmed his way to me. Perhaps it was because he really looked a lot like my father who passed away just a couple of months before I saw Sec.Robredo on TV.

Image

Here’s my Papa and Sec.Robredo…don’t they just look alike? Parehong parang butas ng alkansya ang mata:D

I was reading tweets that late afternoon of August 18 when I saw a tweet from ANC News that Sec.Robredo was one of the passengers of the private aircraft which crashed off the shore of Masbate City. Seconds after, tweets and retweets about that news and some updates flooded my Twitter timeline.

Perhaps I’ve been used to watching a lot of TV/movie dramas where the lead actor would be lost in the sea but eventually some fisherman would find him and he would be saved and he could go back to his family again after he’s recovered, that I initially thought the same thing would also happen to Sec.Robredo.

But no. In as much as the entire country would want the same scene to happen to Sec.Robredo and the two pilots on board with him on the said aircraft, it didn’t. Sure they were still brought back to their families–only this time, they were lifeless.

I’m a sucker for celebrity deaths and funerals and I always find myself crying whenever a famous person dies My sister even told me that I never let a celebrity death passed by without me crying like as if I know them personally. Yes people, that is just how I am:-)

BUT I’m not used to crying for a government official who passed away. I think I even told myself that if I’m going to cry for a govt.official, that would only be for Erap and Sen. Joker Arroyo since I’m a staunch supporter of those two (Yes, you’ve read it right, I’m an Erap supporter!).

Sec.Jesse, however, was a great exception. In fact, I think I cried a lot more for him than I did for Dolphy’s passing. Even just reading tweets about him and his goodness and good governance could already make me cry. Last Saturday, I was watching the livestream of the cabinet members’ tribute for him and I found myself sobbing in tears even if they were all laughing while sharing their happy moments with Sec.Jesse.

Sobrang affected lang talaga ang peg ko!

Every time I see news about him and his wake or see his pictures, I would cry. Sobrang emotera lang!

Perhaps it’s because he really reminded me of my father and the pain of losing him in a sudden brought back the painful memories of my father’s passing as well. When Papa died two years ago, I didn’t shed too much tears for him. I thought then that he had already enough of the pain and struggles with his sickness that it’s already time for him to rest his weary body and let his spirit soar high to heaven.

I didn’t know that the pain of losing Papa would be gradual–like every time I see people looking just like him or walks and talks like him, I would cry because I would remember him.  And Sec.Jesse was one of those people who reminded me of Papa so much that I just couldn’t control my tears for him.

My tears keep falling whenever I see news about his death because my heart is also crying out to his family who lost a good man in the house. Listening to the eulogies of his daughters, I believe that he was a good husband and father to his wife and his daughters.

I’ve never, not even once, seen or read a negative news or message about him. I was backtracking some tweets with the #salamatjesse hashtag and I could even see some of his photos wearing only house slippers and shorts in front of a house (or a building?) on fire, as if on a rush to provide assistance to his people.

I think he’s really a good public official. I liked what his friend, former Isabela Gov. Grace Padaca said in an interview with her, that Sec.Jesse was one of those very few government officials who was able to prove that you can serve your people honestly even if you’ve been in the government for such a long time.

Perhaps, another reason why my tears just won’t stop falling for Sec.Jesse is because I’m in deep regrets that our country lost such a dignified and good public servant who could have been one of those few good men who could lead our country towards good governance and a reasonable change.

And I feel bad that it was only during his death that his good works were being recognized. This country should have known and take notice of him a long time ago, even when he was just a simple, low-profile, and unassuming mayor of Naga City. He could have been a source of hope for some Filipinos who are very skeptical of the Philippines’ government.

Sec.Jesse was a catalyst for change and his death only strengthened that. I believe that just by listening to stories about his good works, the vessel of hopes in each of the Filipinos’ hearts were being filled. I know that just like me, some 60 million (at least) Filipino people are now believing that indeed, good change is very much possible to the Philippines. I also believe that no matter how corrupt or deceiving some of our government officials are, in one way or the other, their hearts were also touched by Sec.Jesse’s passing and they were also inspired to lead just like him (*hoping and praying*).

I like what a friend in Facebook posted in her status during the day Sec.Jesse’s body was found….“lets give credit to Naga for having intelligent voters. Sana lahat ng Pinoy kasing galing nyo pumili.”

I absolutely agree with her. Indeed, the people of Naga City should also be credited for being able to choose a good man to lead them for 19 years. I also hope that the rest of the Philippines populace would be as wise as them in choosing our next leaders. Then good change will be inevitable.

Tomorrow as his remains will be finally laid down to rest, I am bracing myself for more tears from my eyes. And I won’t be stopping it. A good man’s death deserves a real good cry from the people, after all.

To Sec.Jesse, thank you for being a good leader to your fellow Nagaenos. How I wish I was also able to experience your leadership. Nevertheless, you are a great inspiration to many of us now. Through you, there was a realization among the government officials and the rest of the Filipino people that it is really possible to work in the government and still have your integrity and good values undamaged. You have left a very remarkable legacy to the Filipino people.

You have well served your purpose here on earth:-) Thank you and until we’ll finally be able to have our first personal introduction with each other in heaven:-)