White Orchid

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Some thirty-two years ago
You were born
Who would have thought that twenty-one years later, our roads will meet?
And we will fall in love?
You loved white orchids then
You loved it so much your would eyes sparkle whenever you see one
Two years after…
I never thought that the very flower
You’ve always adored
Will be the same flower
I will be bringing to your tomb
Two years..
I only had you physically for two years
And yet, the years following your final goodbye
I could still feel you with me
You are still very much a part of me like you were when you’re still here
Today, I will be bringing you your favorite flower
I will be reliving our memories together
It’s supposed to be your 32nd birthday, my love
If only you are still with me…

Nine Years. Now I Am Ready For The Spring Season.

The longest storm is finally over. The winter season of my life has already bid adieu. Checking my heart…
Is pain still nestling here? Gladly, the grief, which for a long time resided in my heart, finally packed its bag and left, living my heart more room now to be happy, to share happiness, to love and share that love, and to be hopeful for brighter days.

Today, I am celebrating nine years of wonderful love that goes beyond death.

I am remembering that very special day when true love took notice of me and knocked into my door.

And still today, I am also letting go of that love. I am finally moving on.

Nine years and I hope to stop counting and start creating memories with whom Father God has specially reserved me for.

What I used to think as beyond the bounds of possibility has now come to pass.

I am now ready to welcome the new season in my life.

I can only thank the Father for all these.

I thank Him for the pain for it made me understand His essence in my life and find refuge in Him alone.

I thank Him for walking beside me through all those days of grief and melancholy.

And I thank Him for blessing me with a heart that’s now hopeful for the coming spring season.

To the love that I once cherished deeply in my heart, rest assured that you will never be forgotten.

Death tried to separate us but it failed to take away the very essence of you in my life.

Wherever life takes me and whatever new adventures this new season will bring, I will never forget that once in my life, there was  a wonderful ‘you,’ a beautiful surprise that happened to me.

In the sea of matchless blessings, in the city where walls are precious jewels and streets are pure gold, in the place where there’s exceeding joy and treasures, I will meet you there. In God’s time, we will be reunited again.

Goodbye winter. Hello my beloved spring☺


In Another Life

(written 5 years ago)

It’s been two years now
Since you said your last goodbye
And I still can’t find the strength
To move on and let you go
From that moment when I saw you
Lying lifeless inside that gloomy room
I know for sure,
I will never be okay
never again in this lifetime
That painful moment, I so wanted to hate you
Hate you for not fulfilling your promise
Of growing old with me
Hate you for leaving me that fast and sudden
I wanted to loathe the fact of you coming into my life
I wanted to scream at you, shout at you
Blame you for this never-ending pain you’ve caused my heart
I wanted so bad to stop my heart from loving you
But honey, I truly can’t
Believe me, I can’t
For how can I get mad at the only man
Who taught me how it’s like to love unconditionally?
How can I hate the only guy who made me feel so much loved and taken cared of?
How can I fill my heart with fury for that one special person
Who showered me with so much affection and kindness?
And yes, how can I truly abhor those wonderful memories you and I had shared
If those were my life’s greatest recollection?
Indeed, the memories of our love were the finest chronicles of my existence
You may have left me out of the blue
And I might never see you again in this lifetime
But honey, be rest assured that you’ve already brought my heart with you there in heaven
My dear, you forgot to give it back to me when you left
But that’s fine…
In fact, I demand that you keep it forever with you
And I promise you I’ll take good care of your heart with me
My love, time may pass me by
And I might never get up again from this painful mire
And yet, I will not care a bit
For I know, I believe in my very heart
That after this throbbing chapter of my being
I will finally be happy again
I’ll finally stumble on that rainbow of happiness again
And that, my honey, will happen
If I lose my breath and never open my eyes anymore
For only in my death, could I ever find you again
Only in my death, could I again kiss you and embrace you tightly
Only when I finally say goodbye to this world
Could I ever find my true happiness again
And that’s when we’ll be together once more
Allow me to cry and shed my tears for you today
For not long after this day, I’ll be showing my lovely and precious smile again
And yes, that will happen in another lifetime
In another lifetime where our hearts will be united in love again
Go on my dear
Go on and play your lyre now
Sing our favorite songs with your fellow angels
And I’ll go on sail my ship now
I still have a long journey to take
But I promise you,
I’ll never loose sight of that star
Which symbolizes your eternal love for me
Don’t worry about me, my love
I promise you, I’ll try to carry on
Through the power of our eternal love
I know, I’ll make it through
Goodbye for now, my dear
Until we meet again

10-21-02