Ending This Decade with….

Ending This Decade with….

A grateful heart.

The decade 2009- 2019 was a roller coaster one. It had its share of ups and definitely low points. Hills and valleys. But in all those seasons, I was assured and kept secured that God was with me. That alone is enough reason to be grateful.

This decade saw me mourn the deaths of my precious loved ones — that of my father, grandma, uncles. But it also saw me rejoice in the truth that they are home in the arms of Jesus and someday soon, we will be reunited again.

This decade saw me shifted careers. From working in a posh 5-star hotel as a public relations officer, I am now enjoying my job as a preschool teacher. It was a shift I never regretted, though. Everyday that I go to school and get to see and experience the funny antics of my students, it’s an everyday reminder that I am exactly where God wants me to be. I am also grateful that I am still able to continue my passion for my writing as I still get to write for certain projects every now and then.

This decade saw me grow my faith in God and flourished in my walk with Him. It’s true when they say that you can experience more of Jesus if you spend more time with Him. I’ve come to know Him more and not just as a God resting in Heaven. He is my personal God and Savior. Year 2019, specifically, was the year that I’ve experienced God as my protector and shield. I am blessed to be experiencing this unconditional love from Him everyday. I am not a good person but His love is making me want to be better everyday.

This decade saw me answer the call to go to the nations. A calling I didn’t know I am actually deserving to have, but God qualified me for it. I went on a short sojourn in Medan, Indonesia and is now enjoying my season in Vietnam. Apart from the Philippines, these nations hold a special place in my heart. I got to enjoy their beautiful culture and share the beauty of knowing Jesus at the same time.

This decade also saw me keep the friends I knew from way back then and gain new friends I now call my constants. There were some I lost along the way but nevertheless, I am glad to keep those worth keeping. There were hellos and goodbyes as there were healings and restorations.

This decade saw me opened my heart again. I lost my first love in 2004 and I thought my heart won’t be able to love again. This new love isn’t the same as the old one, but who would want a repeat of an old love? I’m thankful that this new love is something I could enjoy discovering the beauty each new day. I like that it isn’t predictable and I like that I feel more secured now. It wasn’t the usual “highschool kilig” feels when we met. Rather, I felt more at home with him. I felt home with him. Will this love be until the end? Only God knows. I have offered this new love to Jesus and anchored it to Him because I know that only Jesus could make it work. I want Him to not be a special guest in our relationship but a very essential part of it.

In a few hours from now, I will be saying goodbye to this decade. This decade that gave me a different look at life. I am just thankful that God didn’t let me end this decade with unanswered prayers. I am grateful for the gift of family and friends who never fail to make me feel loved and cared for. Most of all, I am forever thankful to Jesus for choosing me and for loving me unconditionally all the days of my life.

Year 2020. I am ready to create new memories on your blank pages.

What is my part in the mission?

Since the start of the year, I kept asking myself if world missions is really for me. A year ago, I signed up for Nepal mission. Haplessly, I wasn’t included in the team that left for Nepal. I think that’s because God saw that I was still not wholehearted with the mission thing that time–that it’s 50% for the purpose of the ‘real mission’ and 50% is for travelling purposes. I didn’t feel bad at all because I know that God has His own reasons and He knows exactly when’s the right time for me to go out (if ever).

During the mid part of this year, my heart for missions gradually tapered off. While more and more people from our church are going out of the country to do missions, I suddenly found myself on a retreat from this particular field.

I must admit, there’s still a bigger part of me who still wants to go to far-flung places where they know less or nothing about Christ, but maybe, just maybe, going out of the country to join the world missions isn’t really for me this time.

My sister signed up for missions for next year. Honestly, I asked God why can’t I do that. I kept asking God what He wants me to do right now and why do I have a feeling like I was suddenly put on a halt in terms of my growth in my Christian life. Why is He not sending me out like what He’s doing with the others?

In His own majestic way, God answered me through this daily inspirational thought which I’m subscribed to:

While the way people do missions has varied throughout the years, the idea of “goers” and “senders” has not.  God continues to call people to go and preach His message to people throughout the world, and He continues to call others to help send people on their way.

The Apostle Paul talked about this idea in his letter to the Christians in Rome, written almost 2,000 years ago.  Paul wrote:

“…for, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’  How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’” (Romans 10:13-15).

In the past, these verses have conjured up in my mind a vision of missionaries climbing over the top of a mountain in some remote jungle, bringing the good news of Christ to the people in the valley below.  As the villagers would hear this good news being proclaimed to them—news that they had been longing to hear for years—they would exclaim, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

Today I read that passage with a different vision in mind.  Why?  Because, in many ways, I’m now a missionary myself, writing to people all over the world to encourage them to put their faith in Christ for everything in their lives.  The scenery has changed, but the principle is the same.  

Instead of climbing a misty mountaintop, I’m sitting at my desk in my bedroom, looking out over miles and miles of wide open spaces.  I’m on the second floor of a two-story, traditional American farmhouse in the heart of the great midwest.  There are no mountains to block my view, and only a few other farmhouses dotting the ground in the distance.  The corn and soybean fields have been harvested for the year, so all that’s left is a clear view of the horizon in every direction.  

Yet when I push the “send” button on my computer, I realize that this message I’m writing will make its way over the plains, across the country, under oceans, into the sky and back down to the earth again.  

Within an a instant, this message will show up in places like Papua New Guinea, an island half-way around the world in the South Pacific, where someone just signed up to receive these messages on Monday, saying, 

Missions is changing, but the message stays the same.  When Jesus told His disciples to “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation,” (Mark 16:15) He didn’t put any limits on where to go, how to go, or who to go to.  He just said to, “Go!”  He wanted them to take the message as far as they could, starting in Jerusalem, spreading out to Judea and finally to the ends of the earth.    

I was then reminded of my previous post about insignificance when God told me that He called me out for a different mission. I don’t have to feel insignificant or any less at all because there’s a very special task that He called me out to do.

Through this article, I was blessed to realize my role in the missions. I may not be included in the courageous soldiers of God going out into the international battlefield to spread the Good News but I know I have played and I’m still playing a great part in those missions. I may not be one of the ‘goers’ but at least I’m part of the ‘senders’ and that alone already made a difference.

God placed a different passion in my heart and I have a different role to play. Perhaps it’s through my writing, through this medium, this piece of sanctuary I call my own on the web, that I could pursue this part that God called me for. I have received really touching messages from people I know and some I don’t who told me they’re blessed with my posts about God and that those posts helped them realized God’s importance in their lives in one way or another. Maybe that’s why God blessed me with this talent to write and express my thoughts through writing–this is my part of the Great Commission and this is how God wants me to share great things about Him.

“For some of you, this may be a reminder of what God has already called you to do.  For others of  you this may be a confirmation of what God has been stirring in your heart in recent weeks or months.  And for some of you, this may be a totally new thought—a totally new direction that God wants you to take in your life.  Whatever the case, I want to encourage each of you to get involved in whatever mission God has put in front of you.”


Each one of us has a part to play in spreading the Good News and all of those roles are of equal significance. Seek God with all your heart and ask Him what role He wants you to play. Once you receive His answer, do your part with all your strength and with joyfulness of the heart☺


“Am I Insignificant?”

It’s really been a while since I last heard Jesus’ whispers. I know I am in a particular episode in my life when He is stretching my patience and perseverance and at the same time, letting me use the wisdom He blessed me with to understand what He’s been trying to teach me since the start of this season. I’ve been praying to Him, asking Him to make me understand what He’s up to and what I should do next. But He’s been so silent, as if letting me figure it out on my own or maybe telling me to just wait some more and just relax.

Until yesterday when Jesus finally let me hear His sweet whisper again.

The entire Victory Malate family was at the PICC yesterday to celebrate the church’s 15 years of honoring God and making disciples. At one point during the celebration, actually after the preaching of Pastor Steve Murrell, Pastor Nixon went up the stage, showed a video of what the church is expecting to happen by faith in the coming years which is to make Jesus known all over the nations and the world, and asked everyone afterwards to talk to Jesus on our own on whoever He wants us to disciple and share the good news about Him to.

In my prayer, I actually asked Him  what He wants me to do. I’m not really good in discipling people. I do share the good news about Jesus when my friends or any people who come to me to share their problems. Some of them would tell me that they’re blessed with the words I share to them, but when I invite them to come to church, they would always beg off. In my shallow state I would often feel that I am so insignificant when it comes to following the Great Commission of Christ which is to go and make disciples just because I can’t even invite my friends to attend the church.

During the course of my short prayer, Jesus comforted my weary heart by assuring me that I am not of less value and importance as that of His other sons and daughters going to missions or are so proactive in fishing for people. Jesus actually told me that I am in fact doing a very special role in His Great Commission. He told me He actually chose to place me to the field, to a particular group of people where He knows I could do excellently in sharing the good news about Him—WITH THE CHILDREN. Jesus told me that He sees my strength with the kids and that’s one of the reasons why He took me out of my previous professional field and put me into the world of teaching.

Tears fell down while I was praying to Jesus that time. I kept thanking Him for letting me hear His voice again and for assuring me that I am not insignificant at all. Then I was reminded of that time when I heard His voice for the second time when He told me that I am not invisible in His eyes through directing me to the story of Gideon in the Bible. It’s been the second time that Jesus talked to me to reassure that I am His dear daughter and that He is concerned and pleased about me just as He’s also pleased with the other church leaders who are actively doing their part in Christ’s commission.

Perhaps I am in a season when Christ is teaching me to find security in Him alone, that I should not be reminded time and again of His love for me because even if I don’t hear His voice as often as I would want to, the constant TRUTH of His unconditional love for me never changes. This has been one of the toughest seasons of my life since I started my walk with Jesus but I know that this season is going to bring a lot of understandings, realizations, and great awakenings in my life.

I know this season isn’t bound to end sooner but I am more faithfully excited now to what it’s going to bring to my life. Bring it on God! I am just amazed at how He could make you feel His presence even at times when you feel so far from Him☺

One of the big differences in knowing Christ and living a life according to the world is that with Christ, you know that when you experience struggles, you consider it as a season of understanding what Christ wants you to do or He is teaching you on some points of your life. If you live a life according to the terms of this world, you view these struggles as burdens,curses, or even punishments because of the bad things you’ve done. It’s better to live a life of teachings than to live a life full of punishments☺

“You are not forgotten…”

Take me back to the day when I first met You.”

A good friend once articulated this statement during the time she was having personal struggles and felt so much in need of the Father’s comfort. Though I wasn’t having any serious spiritual or emotional battle that time, that statement already overwhelmed me and made an impact to my wondering mind and intrigued heart. It was like something’s telling me that one day, I’m going to use that statement as I go through this journey with God.

Perhaps that one day is now. Well, not literally now as in today, but it’s actually the season I am in at the very moment. To be honest, I’m not quite sure what season God has placed me right now. I am still in the state of confusion.

Would God want me to do this or that? Would He want me to get involve or just be eagle-eyed on what’s happening?

I haven’t been hearing from Him of late. No, I don’t blame Him or feel ill towards Him for being silent. In fact, I’m not even sure if God’s really silent or I’m just being too preoccupied with the things of this world that I can’t seem to hear His small voice.

Perhaps, it’s the latter….

I’m pinning it on myself why the once aflamed me suddenly became impassive.

God’s been wanting to put that fire back and fortify our relationship but I’m the one always looking at other things to make and do instead of just following Him. I am no longer focusing on Him and setting my sight straight to Him, and worst, I am even allowing the enemy to distract me by acknowledging his lies.

I have become tired of this world. I am slowly becoming exhausted of this walk. Even my writings’ becoming a crap.

I have been feeling on a rush about most of the things in my life these days. Maybe it’s the I-am-hitting-30-in-a-few-years syndrome that’s making me feel like I need to accomplish this and that before I hit that age. I am putting pressures on myself. It’s as if I’m in major panic over what I should do with my life.

The result of that panic and pressure: failing to enjoy the journey.

I was reminded of God’s perfect timing again in the Bible verse shared in the church this afternoon:

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

A Time for Everything

 1 There is a time for everything, 
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 2 a time to be born and a time to die, 
   a time to plant and a time to uproot, 
 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, 
   a time to tear down and a time to build, 
 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, 
   a time to mourn and a time to dance, 
 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 
 6 a time to search and a time to give up, 
   a time to keep and a time to throw away, 
 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, 
   a time to be silent and a time to speak, 
 8 a time to love and a time to hate, 
   a time for war and a time for peace.

I know God wouldn’t want me to continue moving in this kind of rotten thoughts and emotions. No. No. No. God said I am too precious for Him to let the enemy captivate my thoughts and emotions and overpower His sovereignty in my life. I am sure that God wants me to just stay calm and be secured in the truth that He has a greater purpose for me than what I have for myself. I can only see up to this point in my life but God is looking way way farther, even beyond my imaginations.

I don’t have a clear vision of what’s in store for me and I’m not quite sure what’s the purpose of this season of my life. I am not even sure when this period will pass. I am just certain that God is in the works and He knows what’s perfect for me. Whatever His plans are, be it involving spiritual and emotional battles like what I’m going through right now, one thing holds true to the very end: GOD’S LOVE NEVER FAILS. His plans for us are always to our best because they are propelled with unconditional love that only God can shower us.

As I was writing this post, this particular song keeps playing in my head, and because of that, I’m making it the official soundtrack of my current season:-)

You Are Not Forgetten – Israel Houghton

People walking by, very seldom they say “hi”
they don’t know how wonderful you are
If they only knew all the things you’ve been through,
if only they could see your heart
I hear you crying for help, please don’t blame yourself..
You are not forgotten, you are not forgotten

When it’s time to go to sleep and you try your best to keep..yourself from falling apart.
There’s no need to fear, because I’m already here, and I’m the one who sees your heart..
I hear you crying for help, please don’t blame yourself..
You are not forgotten, you are not forgotten

You are not just a face in the crowd, you are not a forgotten child
Let Me whisper it loud, I love you, oh, I love you

You can hold your head up high, ’cause I’ll make everything alright, I’m committed to you smiling again
And eventually you’ll see people’s similarities, everyone just needs a friend..
And when they’re crying for help, you’ll be able to tell them, please tell them for Me
You are not forgotten, you are not forgotten
You are not forgotten, you are not forgotten

Kulay Orange Na Rose

(repost from my Multiply site–written 5 years ago)

If you’re going to ask me what i prefer more–working in print media or broadcast media–i would definitely answer without hesitation.PRINT MEDIA…it’s something that i feel i truly belong..

i am, however, super thankful that God gave me an opportunity to experience how it was like to work for a TV prod…i just feel so blessed that I am able to utilize my God-given talent–and earn ’nuff moolah from this:)

Last monday, December 04, 2006, the first-ever Pioneer Animation Awards night was held at the grand ballroom of Hotel Intercon..it was an event i never thought i could handle–but i did..

when my prod. supervisor asked me if i’m free to write a script for an awards night, i didn’t think twice. i immediately assumed it’s not as difficult and taxing as regular TV prods are..needless to say, i was wrong with my initial peception..Man! i never thought writing a script for an awards night was an exigent thing to do..

i literally had sleepless night working on the script alone–including revisions and add-ons…i sincerely felt like i was super OC that time..imagine me working on the script until 5am, then sleeping for two hours, waking up around 7am to prepare naman for my other work–which is yung PR firm naman..then, after my PR job, i face my other regular raket naman, then after that, scriptwriting ulit… grabeh! wasn’t it close to saying i’m slowly killing myself? hehehehe!

Nonetheless, the most backbreaking part of all was during the day of the event..i had to finish the whole script before 5pm for printing kse 630 yung event..haplessly, tinopak yung printer so we had to look for prnting shops para ma-print yung script…worst, one of the hosts, which happened to be Jolina Magdangal, didn’t know she’s supposed to be the main host of the night..so i had to revised again the script the last minute..and worst still, some of the presentors nde nakapunta so i had to look for other presentors and make some changes again sa script…grabeh! super ngarag! i wasn’t even able to change outfits nah..imagine me talking to celebrities wearing my bugs bunny shirt, bitin jeans, and icky slippers…fashionista! to think na all of the guests wore gowns and formal attires! astig!

But that’s how the life of the people behind the event goes…ngarag, toxic, sigawan sa backstage, at kung anik-anik pah! kalokah talaga!

But i had a blast, really! it was a wonderful experience worth remembering despite lots of bedlams along the way…at least, i was able to experience how it’s like working behind the scenes of a big production such as an awards night…and it felt good, especially when you hear well-known celebrities saying whatever it was you write on the script..it was truly an overwhelming feeling.:) it was, again, one fine and great dream that came through..

now i truly believe that once you put your heart in whatever it is you want to achieve in life, no matter how impossible it may seem, the universe will really conspire to help you pull-off with that dream..and i sincerely can’t stop thanking God for making me realize my personal legend as early as 10 years old..i know in my heart that as early as that age, God is already preparing me and honing my skills so i could pull-off with my dream..

but of course, it isn’t always rosy being in this field..i also has my own share of disheatening days–lalo na pag walang cheques na dumadating…Wahhhh! but that’s how life is..for it to be fair, everybody has to experience rejections and pains one time or another..nevertheless, what matters is how you deal with these failures and rebuffs…it’s never a matter of who’s the smartest kid in the class…it’s just about being passionate and enthusiastic in reaching for your dream…

never stop dreaming..never stop wishing..never stop thinking…never stop praying..God Will Provide!

In My Surreal State

(This is a repost from my Multiply site–written 5 years ago)

Sincerely, i still think i’m not yet ripe to be given a title such as a WRITER. However, i must admit it really feels sooo good to be called as one. It’s something that not all people could understand. akala nila, simple lang. Akala nila, walang masyadong effort. But the truth is, it takes a lot of hardwork, endless learning, and a number of uphill struggles just to have that title. It may not be as grand as Doctor, Attorney, or Engineer, but the fulfillment you’ll feel just by seeing your byline on your published article is something that a newbie writer like me will never exchange for big moolah or posh gadgets a corporate job could offer. If for actors and actresses, their acting awards are their prized possesssions, stress-relievers, and little delights, for writers–it’s our byline. No amount of money is worth seeing your precious name on any pages of a magazine or a well-respected broadsheet. Moreovr, no amount of money is worth the realization of a dream and emancipation of that passion inherent in a writer’s hearts.

A fellow writer and a cherished friend once told me that she admires my courage and audacity when it comes to pursuing my passion and reaching for my dreams. The truth is, i’m as coward and afraid as the other people wandering and searching for their personal legend. I also have my own share of life’s tribulations. The only difference is that, i already know what my personal legend is and i’m focused enough on that shining star i’ve been following eversince i unearthed my own legend that i always seem to walk on a straight direction towards that realization of my dream. And i owe everything to God. He’s been my ultimate supporter and my number 1 fan. He never fails to lift my spirits up.

Just the other day, i received again one of the greatest blessings of my existence. MEG Magazine’s editorial assistant texted me and informed me that Pierra-Meg’s editor, liked my writing flair and they decided to get me as one of Meg’s contributing writers. Man, was that great! It was such a great dream come true. I’ve been wanting to be part of Meg since the day i learned that such a magazine as Meg exists. The whole day, a smile was plastered on my face. I just can’t stop thanking God for all his graces.

Nonetheless, if God would still give me a chance to have just one wish, i wish that all people in the world will find a way to fulfill their dreams. I hope that they’ll never stop pursuing their passion and that they’ll never get discouraged by disappointments and failures. This world will be a much, much lovelier and happier place to live in if only all people will work their way to reach for their dreams.

Never stop dreaming. Never stop wishing. Never stop hoping. Most of all, never stop praying. God knows when’s the perfect time for all of us to shine.

Winks! God bless all of us!