Nap Time Thoughts of A Preschool Teacher

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Nap time. One of my favorite parts of the day in school right now. A lot of random thoughts usually run in my mind during this time as I watch my students sleep beside each other,

I wonder how many of them will actually meet again maybe 15-20 years after their kindergarten days and fall in love with each other? What are the odds? Probabilities?

I wonder if they will ever remember that they once slept beside each other during nap time in preschool before. Will they ever remember that they once shared a spoon of ice cream just because the little boy still wants some ice cream and the little girl was kind enough to give him a spoonful of it? Will the little boy remember that he once grabbed the toy truck from the little girl just because he thinks trucks are just for boys? Will the little girl remember that she once cried so loud because of that little boy or will she just remember how she laughed at the funny antics of the little boy when they were playing with the wooden blocks at the construction corner? Will both of them remember how they made a good team trying to build a tower with those blocks and not letting their other classmates join in on the fun just because that moment was exclusively theirs?

How many of these kids will have their hearts broken before they even reach their puberty stage? The kind of heart ache that seemed just a tiny piece of wound but could actually give so much effect in his/her growing up years? The kind of wound that you thought you have forgotten already but could actually haunt you and make you remember that pain once you meet someone again and try your chance on falling in love again. I wonder who among them will end up best friends for life? Or who will end up as “just friends” just because they tried it but they realized they are better off as friends?

I have more than a dozen young, innocent souls in my classroom of happiness now. Each of them has a distinct personality that makes them different from one another. Each is special in his/her own way. Each of them amuses me in their own lovely way. Sometimes while waiting for them to close their eyes and fall asleep during nap time, I just can’t help but imagine how the romance part of their lives will turn out to be. Who will fall in love with who? Who will have his/her heartbroken by who? Who will end up getting married to each other? Will there be someone from that class who would actually try to look for his/her classmate after so many years just to let him/her know that he/she once a had a huge crush on him/her? Will there be someone who will be bold enough to confess his/her feelings?

Maybe I am just a plain hopeless romantic that even at those down times when I can just rest my body from half a day of extensive work in school and prepare myself for the next half to cap off the day, I just can’t hold off my mind from thinking about those random stuff.

Or perhaps, deep inside my heart, I just want all of them to experience the kind of wonderful love they all deserve. Because they all deserve to be loved in a special way. No matter how they piss me off sometimes with their rowdiness, I have to admit that I’ve grown so fond of each and everyone of them. And yes, I do love them. I love the fact that I am their teacher and they think of me as their mommy in school. And like a real mommy, I want them to find the love they all deserve in the future. If only I can shield them from heartbreak by teaching them about the Dos and Don’ts of falling in love, but even me myself is still a student of that lesson. I am still learning. I haven’t mastered that yet, and perhaps I never will. I just hope that no matter how many heartbreaks they will experience or how deep the pain they would experience in the future, my little angels will still continue believing in love and that they will not lose hope that they can also find and experience true love. I hope that when they get their hearts broken, they will remember how they were in Kindergarten — cry so loud and then move on like as if nothing happened. I hope they will not dwell too much on the pain but instead, use those pains to become a better person in life and in love.

If only I can tell these to them. But I’d rather not spoil the mystery of life and love to them. I will let them discover on their own how wonderful it is to live, to find love, to fall in love, to lose it and find it again. Anyway, they are still too young to fathom the complexities of it all. For the meantime, I will just let them play and enjoy the simplicity of life in their little perfect world.

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How A Preschool Moving Up Day Made Me Cry…

If my memory serves me right, the last time I cried on a graduation day was during my high school graduation. Back then, I cried as a young teenybopper who was so attached to her high school friends and to her school and a bit afraid of what the new journey in college will bring her life. I cried over Madonna’s song ‘I Remember’ since that song really spoke of how I felt during that last day of my high school life.

More than a decade after that emotional scene from my high school graduation, I found myself dewy-eyed again ’cause of a school’s culmination activity. This time, the role that I played was way different from the one I portrayed ten years back. From being just the one waiting for her name to be called to go up the stage, I was now the one giving the certificate to the students. I’m now the teacher.

Being someone who’s easily attached to people and things, our school’s Moving Up Day was something I was looking forward to and dreading at the same time. I was excited about it because it’s a brand new experience for me, but I dreaded it since it meant bidding farewell to the kids, especially those who are already going to big schools.

And the inevitable separation happened this morning.

At first, the teachers were cool about the event. We were even laughing while decorating the venue. Then the kids arrived with their parents, and few moments after, the program started.

During the speech of the school’s directress, when she expressed her gratefulness to the parents, especially the sweet mommies who’ve been so helpful, so nice, and so thoughtful to us, I could already feel my tears wanting to fall down. Thankfully, I was able to hold it back.

Then the sweet mommies asked us to stay on the stage because they’ve prepared a small presentation for us. Thereupon, the kids formed a line holding three pieces of roses each. One by one–wait make that all of them–went up the stage and gave the teachers the roses, gave us a sweet hug, and said ‘thank you.’  That was the sweetest and the most rewarding  scene I’ve ever experienced in my 7 years of working professionally.

After few picture taking, I went down the stage. Cole and his mom came to me and asked to take a picture with me. I hugged Cole because I’ll surely going to miss him since he’s one of the sweetest kids in class. Mommy Jane (his mom) then told me that Cole was crying last night because it finally dawned on him that he’s not going to Escuela Legarda anymore next school year. And I could no longer forbear my tears. I hugged Cole once more, this time, it was tighter and I told him I’m really going to miss him.

I’m being so emotional, I know. I’m a teacher so I should get used to this kind of scenarios since every year, we’ll have Moving Up Day and we’ll say goodbye to different sets of kids. But still…This whole thing was just so heart-melting and I never thought that parents could really appreciate teachers like the way these parents did.

Now I know what’s the toughest part of being a preschool teacher is. It’s not about teaching them the basics and really starting from scratch, not even changing diapers or washing them after they made poo-poo. It’s saying goodbye to little angels who’ve been my babies for the last 10 months of my life.

I’m not sure if these kids will ever remember us when they go to big school, especially if they’ll grow accustomed to it already. I hope they will, though. But I will certainly keep them in my heart for as long as live. I know for sure that at any random day, I would be checking on my old albums of the school and relive the precious moments spent with these little angels through those photos.