That Morning I Heard From Him…

“And don’t pray to God, ’cause He won’t talk back”

cat-waiting-window-65

As much as I like the soundtrack of Begin Again (one of my favorite films, by the way), this part of one of the movie’s soundtracks, A Step You Can’t Take Back,  somehow bothers me and makes me uncomfortable whenever I listen to it. Maybe the writer of this song was referring to some other god or maybe it’s a metaphor or something. I only love music but I’m not a music and lyrics genius so I can’t really tell. Nevertheless, one thing’s certain here: this statement is in no way the truth.

I strongly disagree. Because God does talk to us. And I’m saying this not because I’m a Christian, but because God really talks to us. In many ways. In many forms.

And I personally experienced that. God talked to me. In one of those days when I felt I was not deserving of His presence.

It was the fifth and last day of the annual prayer and fasting time of our church. I was supposed to do my morning devotions but I woke up late so I decided to do it during lunch break instead. But that wasn’t what God wanted to happen.

It was 10 minutes before 7am and my work starts at 7am so I should be going already but that task was very important so I had to message my co-teacher that I will be late for work that day. I finished the task just before 8am so I actually could head on to the school so I won’t be super late. Then my eye caught the Prayer and Fasting booklet and my journal on the table. Then there was the prompting to do my quiet time that very moment.

Admittedly, I was a bit hesitant to do it since the P&F material this year is too extensive (at least for me) and requires more time than usual, with the spiritual exercises and all. And it meant I will have to call my school and tell them I had to go half-day.

I know I’m not a super Christian and oftentimes, I don’t walk the talk. But there were some moments in my walk with God that I could really feel when He wants to tell me something. And that day was one of those moments.

The topic that day was about how to hear from God. And that’s something that really interests me, although I have to admit that it’s not really often that I hear from Him. While reading the instructions on the spiritual exercise, crumbs of doubts started filling my mind and heart. I just felt that I’m way too insufficient to hear from God that time. Imagine, I couldn’t do my morning devotions because I would be late for work but I could call in late when there’s an urgent task from my online work? I’m definitely not a model Christian. I mean, why would God talk to me?  I felt undeserving and unqualified to hear from Him that time.

But He did. And the scene’s still very vivid in my memory. These were the very words He spoke to me with:

“I’m the one who created the situation that caused you to be late from school. Because I missed you. You are so busy with your life that we only talk for a bit most of the time. Like a mother waiting for a call from her daughter living far away, I long for you to call Me and talk to Me and spend some time with Me. Yes, you are late for work today but you don’t have to worry because I will take care of it. I am more important than your job. I tell you, you don’t need to worry about your 2017 because I have it all planned perfectly for you. I am in charge of your 2017. You don’t have to worry. All your fears, anxieties, stress, cast them all on Me. I will take care of them. Just believe that I am with you.

There are times when you think you are insignificant. There may be times that you feel you don’t matter, that you are just a small piece of a puzzle. But I tell you, you are significant to Me. You are highly favored. You might not realize it now but I’m storming heavens to pour out the abundance of blessings and love on you. You are so much loved. You are very important to me. Never doubt that even for a second. I have loved you then and I will continue to love you till the end.”

I was crying the whole time I was penning down those words as I hear it. I didn’t expect that actual moment to happen that very morning. It was just so surreal.

I had to pen those words down because I want to read it over and over again. It was one of the remarkable encounters with God that I will definitely go back to whenever I feel down and unqualified. I’m not the highly spiritual type and I failed Him a lot of times but He still loves me and gives me that much importance to actually talk to me and let me hear His voice.

And I’m not psychotic (hello Dr.Gregory House!).

God actually talks to us. He is never busy for us. It is actually us who usually veer away from His presence when we get too busy with work and other things. And I’m guilty of that. I felt undeserving of His love but He still gives it to me in so much abundance.

You may have not experienced hearing from God yet but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t talk to you. Oftentimes, you just have to lock yourself from the world and really spend enough time seeking Him. Take time to enjoy His presence. He can talk to you through a friend, a Bible verse, a situation and promptings. You just need to be sensitive of His voice and believe that He really can talk to you.

When He seems silent, don’t be discouraged. It doesn’t mean He doesn’t care. According to Oswald Chambers, when God is silent, you will find that He has trusted you in the most intimate way possible — with absolute silence, not a silence of despair, but one of pleasure, because He saw that you could withstand an even bigger revelation. Silence can also be a sign of intimacy. God wants you to seek Him more and He wants more of your time.

Faith. Never doubt. That’s the paramount point. You have to trust Him that He listens even if He seems silent.

 

6c90a91e1db18320f59570da1e9cf9d3

 

 

Advertisements

The Inconvenience of the Waiting Period…and the Unexplainable Joy After.

Waitingforyou

 

The waiting period, in all sense, is inconvenient for most of us. I don’t know anyone who’s fond of waiting in line and would even wish for the waiting period to be longer than usual. Well, not unless you have a really good book to read while waiting in line, then the waiting becomes a bit bearable. But even so, after a few minutes of reading, your eyes will eventually feel tired and you would turn to the clock and see how long you have waited.

See, the waiting part is not easy. It is often patience-stretching. On a deeper note, it is often in this waiting period that our characters are being put to test.

Take for example Lazarus’ sisters Mary and Martha. At the time of their brother’s death, they were waiting on Jesus, believing in their hearts that Jesus can raise Lazarus from the dead and back to life. But Jesus didn’t come at the very moment they were waiting for Him. In fact, He arrived 4 days later. Thus, when Mary saw Him, she said to Him, “if you had been here, my brother would have not died…”

Jesus didn’t let this somehow reproaching question of Mary ruin the moment. He then asked her where the body of Lazarus was laid. Upon getting there, He asked the people with them to remove the stone covering the entrance. And then entered Martha with her pessimistic remarks: “But Lord, by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there for four days.” 

If I were in the position of Jesus during that time, I might transform into Mr. Asimo and I would tell them: Oh eh di kayo na! Sige na wag na lang! Puro kayo kontra!

But Jesus, in all His might and overflowing patience,  told them: “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?” (John 11:40)

Oftentimes, we are like Mary and Martha during our waiting season. We tend to be too stuck in our troubles, oftentimes forgetting that God can turn things around for us. We tend to ask God a lot of “whys” and demands that He answer all our questions and maybe, just maybe, we can be comforted.

I must admit, just like Martha, I also tend to entertain doubts and questions during my waiting season. I keep on saying that I believe in Jesus Christ but because sometimes I don’t see Him move in my situation, I tend to think that He is not working in my midst at all. Doubts start to cloud my mind and my heart. And with all honesty, I am trying to shoo away all those doubts and fears with all my might. But my might is not as sturdy and powerful as Jesus’ might is, that’s why I always turn to Him for strength especially during the waiting and trying season.

In Jesus’ word in John 11:40, I was reminded again of God’s promises and assured me once more that all of those will come to pass–not only in the lives of the people in the Bible, but in my life as well.

Faith. That is just what He needs from us. Believe in everything He can do for us and we will experience His wonderful glory.

Yes, the waiting season may be long. We might get confused along the way. We might sometimes go crazy waiting for things to turn our way.  We may feel blinded by the darkness surrounding that long alley towards Jesus’ promise. But remember that Jesus is always the lamp upon our feet to light our way. Yes, it might still be way too dark, but try to open your eyes and look for that light that Jesus is to us.

When we say we are waiting upon the Lord, we must have a heart that is confident in expecting for Him. With confidence, doubts and fears must not be present. Let’s not just believe Jesus in words but more than that, believe Him with our hearts and minds.

Jesus is never late. We all know that. His time is not our time. If He had come during the time that Mary and Martha were waiting for Him to resurrect Lazarus immediately, then they and the other Jews with them might not have witnessed and felt His glory as He raised Lazarus from the dead.

Try to integrate that in your current situation. I tell you, it will make a big difference when you wait upon God’s appointed time. It’s more “magical,” if I may say. Imagine fireworks blasting beautifully in the sky when God’s appointed time for your prayer has finally arrived. It’s not only for you to see but for everyone else to bear witness to.

In my season of waiting, I only have one prayer I keep on saying to God: YOUR WILL OVER MY DESIRE. 

Even if the desire is good and it won’t hurt anybody, still if it’s not the will of God, it’s absolutely pointless. And when I’m praying that to God, I am declaring to Him that I trust His will, I am surrendering to it, and that no matter what, I am believing that He will let His promises to my life come to pass in His own time.

I like what my friend told me about praying for God’s will: If you are praying for His will, consider it done. 

No doubts. If He is for you, there’s nothing that can stop His will to uncover in your life.

 

Don’t Lose Jesus In The Feast

We prayed for something. We sought God for His will. When He answered our prayers, we jumped high in glee. We became too busy and preoccupied on what to do next and how to get things done that we somehow forgot why we earnestly sought God for that thing. Somehow, the things turned from God + Me + His calling for my life to Me + World + What I could get from this answered prayer. Thus, we may not notice it that we’re slowly losing sight of Jesus along the way.

In Luke 2:40 – 52, it tells of the time when Jesus, Mary and Joseph went to Jerusalem to celebrate the feast of the Passover there. Mary and Joseph were so busy and preoccupied with the religious rituals that they didn’t even notice that Jesus was no longer with them. It took them 3 days to find out that Jesus was no longer with them.

I’ve read this story many times before and heard of it from priests and preachers time and time again, but I would honestly say that I always miss the mark of the essence of this story. I just see it as some carelessness in the side of Mary and Joseph. At one point in my youth while reading this part of the Bible, I even thought of Jesus as arrogant because of the way He answered His parents then when they found Him. It was during our coaching last Saturday when I finally got to understand the essence of this story – all thanks to the explanation of my coach 🙂

Just like Mary and Joseph, we may not also notice it but somehow, in the midst of the routines, rituals, highs and lows of this life, we fail to notice that we’re already losing the presence of Jesus as we’re too preoccupied with what to do with our lives or with the situations. An example given by my coach was with the Victory group. As a leader, we sometimes become too used to the routine of preparing for the VG (small group), reading the materials, etc., that there are times when we no longer seek Jesus on His word for the VG members for that particular session. We just read the materials and think as if it’s already enough as long as you can share what’s in that piece of paper. There are even times when we only prepare few minutes before the VG starts. Thus, in some way, we are losing the essence of Jesus in the VG session. Yes, we share about Him but that’s just mainly because He’s the default topic in every VG sharing.

Right now, I am in the season of preparing for the next episode in my life. I prayed to God, sought His will for this new season and He answered me. I was overwhelmed with happiness when I got a ‘yes’ for this particular thing I’ve been praying for and I just knew then that this is the direction that God wants me to go. But somewhere along the way, the worries of the unknown future is trying to cripple my faith and my excitement for this new season. The unnecessary burdens are also working its way to my heart and mind to sap my joy. I’ve been thinking too much about trivial things and worrying a lot about the responses of people that I fail to notice that I am already losing Jesus along the way.

And as always, God’s word for me today is just what I needed to refresh my mind and calibrate my thoughts.

Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

I might have been worrying too much about the not-so-important stuff that I am somehow losing the very essence of why I prayed for this particular thing to happen in my life. Some months ago, when I started to pray for this, I knew exactly why I wanted this thing so bad. It is for a greater purpose and a greater calling. It was clearly selfless that time. But now, it seemed that because of the clutters in my mind, the prayer is slowly turning into selfishness–always about me and not about HIM.

And all these I have to admit.

Thankfully, Jesus didn’t let go of my hand even if I seemed to be losing grasp of Him. He is still very patient in carrying me back to His path for me at times when I’ve been too engrossed with the sights I see on the left and the right that I didn’t notice I’m already turning to those directions. He gave me that verse in Matthew about worrying because He wanted me to just focus on Him as I step out in faith and embrace His calling for my life. This verse reminded me again that Jesus is the reason for this pursuit and not the people or the situation surrounding it. I know at times the enemy will still feed my mind with lies just to stop me from embracing this new season but I will just go back to this particular morning when Jesus reminded me again on why I prayed about it in the first place. I never want to lose sight of Him again.

If Jesus tells me to go, no matter how odd the circumstances may be, I WILL GO.

453008131_640

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Buti na lang” Moments

I’m sure you’ve already experienced this “buti na lang” moment at one point in your life, or perhaps even countless times already. These are moments when you’ve been praying to God for something or someone. You’re crying out to Him for that earnest desire in your heart that you so wanted to have. But after all the prayers and tears you shed, there seemed to be no answer from Him. And there you are, sitting inside your room, cuddling your pillow, tears falling down from your eyes, and your heart wants to scream: WHERE WAS GOD WHEN I NEEDED HIM THE MOST!???

Fast forward to say few days, months, or even years after that tearjerking, dire moment. You’re now in a happy state. And then you look back to that moment when you’ve been praying to God for that something or someone which He didn’t give you and you can only utter: “buti na lang Lord hindi mo ako pinagbigyan nun, eh di sana hindi ako super happy ngayon with what I have.”

Remember that popular adage that says God answers our prayers in 3 ways: Yes, No, I have something better in mind? I believe we could truly draw context from that. Admit it, it’s not always a bed of roses in our walk with God. Dark, gloomy days are inevitable just as we are also assured and certain of bright, blissful days with Him. There are times when you feel that God is very near to you and blessings are really overflowing. There are, however, moments when you can’t help but question if God could really hear your prayers.

But then again, the Bible assures us that God is a personal God and He delights in giving us the best of everything. If He seemed to be silent with your heart’s plea, it’s probably because what you’ve been praying for isn’t exactly what God thinks is the best for you that is why He is not blessing you with that.

I had my share of that ‘buti na lang” moments, too.  When I was a freshie in highschool, I had this huge crush on this cute sophomore guy. I super liked him that even if his building was way far from mine, I would ask my friend to accompany me during dismissal time to go to their building just to see him before he goes home. Or if ever I would see him outside and I’m already going home, I would wait for him at the jeepney stop and since I live just a few blocks away from his house, I would always ride on that jeep where he’s riding just so I could enjoy the view going home. I sooo liked this guy that I always pray to God for him to notice me and reciprocate the feelings I have for him. When he graduated in highschool, I was crying hard and I even sneaked into the venue of his graduation ceremony because I want to see him for the last time. I was so crazyily infatuated with him then that I mistook that crying about him and longing for him for love. If there’s such a thing as ultimate crush, he’s definitely the one for me. I spent my highschool life and a good part of my college years wishing only for him to be my boyfriend. It was only when I met my boyfriend during my junior year in college when that feelings for him started to subside, although I still think of him every once in a while and still wish to bump into him.

Few years ago, I learned from a friend that he already has a child and that he’s separated from his wife (I’m not even sure if they’re married). I heard that he’s a womanizer and that he doesn’t even have a job to support his own family.

So what could have I uttered after hearing that news about him? Buti na lang talaga hindi ako pinagbigyan ni God dati. Eh di sana hiwalay na ako sa asawang babaero ngayon! (the latter’s assuming he will have no choice but give in to my pagpapa-cute towards him.)

I am just as thankful now that God didn’t answer my prayer back then. I could have not met the first guy who touched my life in a very special and remarkable way. I could have not experience the kind of life I’m living right now. My life story might be way different and my surrending of life to Jesus Christ would have taken longer than it’s supposed to be.

Another “buti na lang” moment I had was about my career. Back then, I sooo wanted to work for this particular posh publication. When I was in college, I’ve always dreamed of seeing my name in the editorial box of any of the lifestyle magazines of that publication. Everytime I see an opening in their company, I would always send in my resume even if I already have a job then. But I never got the chance to work in that company. I didn’t even see my byline in any of their titles, except for that time when my article about my mom won in one of their contests.

I used to think that maybe, I was not really good enough for that company; that perhaps my writing was crap compared to their pool of writers. I was slowly losing my faith in my writing prowess then.

And then the desire to become a preschool teacher suddenly blossomed in my heart. Because I was so engrossed and enthusiastic about my new-found profession that the dream to work for that posh publication seemed just a light years away now.

Now I understand why God didn’t allow me to work in that publication. He has a different plan for my life and He wants to use me in that plan rather than just be the on-looker on my life. God designed me for greatness and He wants me to carry out that greatness through touching the lives of little children. Furthermore, I also realized that if my dream to work in that publication came true then, I wouldn’t have the luxury of time to commit in the ministries in our church because I will be too tied up with my job, given the endless deadlines and pressures.

Indeed, everything that happens in life has a very essential reason and purpose. We may not understand it while we are still playing our part in that situation, but once we’re done with that scene and we look back, God never fails to make us understand why. It may take days, months, or even years for that realization to occur but rest assured that when you experience that “buti na lang” and “kaya pala” moments, your heart will just be filled with gratefulness to God for letting things happen the way He plans it.

When things aren’t going our way, it maybe that God has a different plan for our life and we only have to put our trust in His divine power because He never fails.

This is also a reminder to myself. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. It may be too small sometimes that we fail to notice it, but rest assured that it’s there. Sometimes, our worries are clouding the hope we have in our heart but no matter what, never let go of that hope because that hope is God’s way of telling you to hold on for He is working behind the scenes and beyond what you can imagine.

Philippians 4:6-7  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

What is my part in the mission?

Since the start of the year, I kept asking myself if world missions is really for me. A year ago, I signed up for Nepal mission. Haplessly, I wasn’t included in the team that left for Nepal. I think that’s because God saw that I was still not wholehearted with the mission thing that time–that it’s 50% for the purpose of the ‘real mission’ and 50% is for travelling purposes. I didn’t feel bad at all because I know that God has His own reasons and He knows exactly when’s the right time for me to go out (if ever).

During the mid part of this year, my heart for missions gradually tapered off. While more and more people from our church are going out of the country to do missions, I suddenly found myself on a retreat from this particular field.

I must admit, there’s still a bigger part of me who still wants to go to far-flung places where they know less or nothing about Christ, but maybe, just maybe, going out of the country to join the world missions isn’t really for me this time.

My sister signed up for missions for next year. Honestly, I asked God why can’t I do that. I kept asking God what He wants me to do right now and why do I have a feeling like I was suddenly put on a halt in terms of my growth in my Christian life. Why is He not sending me out like what He’s doing with the others?

In His own majestic way, God answered me through this daily inspirational thought which I’m subscribed to:

While the way people do missions has varied throughout the years, the idea of “goers” and “senders” has not.  God continues to call people to go and preach His message to people throughout the world, and He continues to call others to help send people on their way.

The Apostle Paul talked about this idea in his letter to the Christians in Rome, written almost 2,000 years ago.  Paul wrote:

“…for, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’  How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’” (Romans 10:13-15).

In the past, these verses have conjured up in my mind a vision of missionaries climbing over the top of a mountain in some remote jungle, bringing the good news of Christ to the people in the valley below.  As the villagers would hear this good news being proclaimed to them—news that they had been longing to hear for years—they would exclaim, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

Today I read that passage with a different vision in mind.  Why?  Because, in many ways, I’m now a missionary myself, writing to people all over the world to encourage them to put their faith in Christ for everything in their lives.  The scenery has changed, but the principle is the same.  

Instead of climbing a misty mountaintop, I’m sitting at my desk in my bedroom, looking out over miles and miles of wide open spaces.  I’m on the second floor of a two-story, traditional American farmhouse in the heart of the great midwest.  There are no mountains to block my view, and only a few other farmhouses dotting the ground in the distance.  The corn and soybean fields have been harvested for the year, so all that’s left is a clear view of the horizon in every direction.  

Yet when I push the “send” button on my computer, I realize that this message I’m writing will make its way over the plains, across the country, under oceans, into the sky and back down to the earth again.  

Within an a instant, this message will show up in places like Papua New Guinea, an island half-way around the world in the South Pacific, where someone just signed up to receive these messages on Monday, saying, 

Missions is changing, but the message stays the same.  When Jesus told His disciples to “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation,” (Mark 16:15) He didn’t put any limits on where to go, how to go, or who to go to.  He just said to, “Go!”  He wanted them to take the message as far as they could, starting in Jerusalem, spreading out to Judea and finally to the ends of the earth.    


I was then reminded of my previous post about insignificance when God told me that He called me out for a different mission. I don’t have to feel insignificant or any less at all because there’s a very special task that He called me out to do.

Through this article, I was blessed to realize my role in the missions. I may not be included in the courageous soldiers of God going out into the international battlefield to spread the Good News but I know I have played and I’m still playing a great part in those missions. I may not be one of the ‘goers’ but at least I’m part of the ‘senders’ and that alone already made a difference.

God placed a different passion in my heart and I have a different role to play. Perhaps it’s through my writing, through this medium, this piece of sanctuary I call my own on the web, that I could pursue this part that God called me for. I have received really touching messages from people I know and some I don’t who told me they’re blessed with my posts about God and that those posts helped them realized God’s importance in their lives in one way or another. Maybe that’s why God blessed me with this talent to write and express my thoughts through writing–this is my part of the Great Commission and this is how God wants me to share great things about Him.

“For some of you, this may be a reminder of what God has already called you to do.  For others of  you this may be a confirmation of what God has been stirring in your heart in recent weeks or months.  And for some of you, this may be a totally new thought—a totally new direction that God wants you to take in your life.  Whatever the case, I want to encourage each of you to get involved in whatever mission God has put in front of you.”

 

Each one of us has a part to play in spreading the Good News and all of those roles are of equal significance. Seek God with all your heart and ask Him what role He wants you to play. Once you receive His answer, do your part with all your strength and with joyfulness of the heart☺

 

“Am I Insignificant?”

It’s really been a while since I last heard Jesus’ whispers. I know I am in a particular episode in my life when He is stretching my patience and perseverance and at the same time, letting me use the wisdom He blessed me with to understand what He’s been trying to teach me since the start of this season. I’ve been praying to Him, asking Him to make me understand what He’s up to and what I should do next. But He’s been so silent, as if letting me figure it out on my own or maybe telling me to just wait some more and just relax.

Until yesterday when Jesus finally let me hear His sweet whisper again.

The entire Victory Malate family was at the PICC yesterday to celebrate the church’s 15 years of honoring God and making disciples. At one point during the celebration, actually after the preaching of Pastor Steve Murrell, Pastor Nixon went up the stage, showed a video of what the church is expecting to happen by faith in the coming years which is to make Jesus known all over the nations and the world, and asked everyone afterwards to talk to Jesus on our own on whoever He wants us to disciple and share the good news about Him to.

In my prayer, I actually asked Him  what He wants me to do. I’m not really good in discipling people. I do share the good news about Jesus when my friends or any people who come to me to share their problems. Some of them would tell me that they’re blessed with the words I share to them, but when I invite them to come to church, they would always beg off. In my shallow state I would often feel that I am so insignificant when it comes to following the Great Commission of Christ which is to go and make disciples just because I can’t even invite my friends to attend the church.

During the course of my short prayer, Jesus comforted my weary heart by assuring me that I am not of less value and importance as that of His other sons and daughters going to missions or are so proactive in fishing for people. Jesus actually told me that I am in fact doing a very special role in His Great Commission. He told me He actually chose to place me to the field, to a particular group of people where He knows I could do excellently in sharing the good news about Him—WITH THE CHILDREN. Jesus told me that He sees my strength with the kids and that’s one of the reasons why He took me out of my previous professional field and put me into the world of teaching.

Tears fell down while I was praying to Jesus that time. I kept thanking Him for letting me hear His voice again and for assuring me that I am not insignificant at all. Then I was reminded of that time when I heard His voice for the second time when He told me that I am not invisible in His eyes through directing me to the story of Gideon in the Bible. It’s been the second time that Jesus talked to me to reassure that I am His dear daughter and that He is concerned and pleased about me just as He’s also pleased with the other church leaders who are actively doing their part in Christ’s commission.

Perhaps I am in a season when Christ is teaching me to find security in Him alone, that I should not be reminded time and again of His love for me because even if I don’t hear His voice as often as I would want to, the constant TRUTH of His unconditional love for me never changes. This has been one of the toughest seasons of my life since I started my walk with Jesus but I know that this season is going to bring a lot of understandings, realizations, and great awakenings in my life.

I know this season isn’t bound to end sooner but I am more faithfully excited now to what it’s going to bring to my life. Bring it on God! I am just amazed at how He could make you feel His presence even at times when you feel so far from Him☺

One of the big differences in knowing Christ and living a life according to the world is that with Christ, you know that when you experience struggles, you consider it as a season of understanding what Christ wants you to do or He is teaching you on some points of your life. If you live a life according to the terms of this world, you view these struggles as burdens,curses, or even punishments because of the bad things you’ve done. It’s better to live a life of teachings than to live a life full of punishments☺


“You are not forgotten…”

Take me back to the day when I first met You.”

A good friend once articulated this statement during the time she was having personal struggles and felt so much in need of the Father’s comfort. Though I wasn’t having any serious spiritual or emotional battle that time, that statement already overwhelmed me and made an impact to my wondering mind and intrigued heart. It was like something’s telling me that one day, I’m going to use that statement as I go through this journey with God.

Perhaps that one day is now. Well, not literally now as in today, but it’s actually the season I am in at the very moment. To be honest, I’m not quite sure what season God has placed me right now. I am still in the state of confusion.

Would God want me to do this or that? Would He want me to get involve or just be eagle-eyed on what’s happening?

I haven’t been hearing from Him of late. No, I don’t blame Him or feel ill towards Him for being silent. In fact, I’m not even sure if God’s really silent or I’m just being too preoccupied with the things of this world that I can’t seem to hear His small voice.

Perhaps, it’s the latter….

I’m pinning it on myself why the once aflamed me suddenly became impassive.

God’s been wanting to put that fire back and fortify our relationship but I’m the one always looking at other things to make and do instead of just following Him. I am no longer focusing on Him and setting my sight straight to Him, and worst, I am even allowing the enemy to distract me by acknowledging his lies.

I have become tired of this world. I am slowly becoming exhausted of this walk. Even my writings’ becoming a crap.

I have been feeling on a rush about most of the things in my life these days. Maybe it’s the I-am-hitting-30-in-a-few-years syndrome that’s making me feel like I need to accomplish this and that before I hit that age. I am putting pressures on myself. It’s as if I’m in major panic over what I should do with my life.

The result of that panic and pressure: failing to enjoy the journey.

I was reminded of God’s perfect timing again in the Bible verse shared in the church this afternoon:

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

A Time for Everything

 1 There is a time for everything, 
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 2 a time to be born and a time to die, 
   a time to plant and a time to uproot, 
 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, 
   a time to tear down and a time to build, 
 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, 
   a time to mourn and a time to dance, 
 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 
 6 a time to search and a time to give up, 
   a time to keep and a time to throw away, 
 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, 
   a time to be silent and a time to speak, 
 8 a time to love and a time to hate, 
   a time for war and a time for peace.

I know God wouldn’t want me to continue moving in this kind of rotten thoughts and emotions. No. No. No. God said I am too precious for Him to let the enemy captivate my thoughts and emotions and overpower His sovereignty in my life. I am sure that God wants me to just stay calm and be secured in the truth that He has a greater purpose for me than what I have for myself. I can only see up to this point in my life but God is looking way way farther, even beyond my imaginations.

I don’t have a clear vision of what’s in store for me and I’m not quite sure what’s the purpose of this season of my life. I am not even sure when this period will pass. I am just certain that God is in the works and He knows what’s perfect for me. Whatever His plans are, be it involving spiritual and emotional battles like what I’m going through right now, one thing holds true to the very end: GOD’S LOVE NEVER FAILS. His plans for us are always to our best because they are propelled with unconditional love that only God can shower us.

As I was writing this post, this particular song keeps playing in my head, and because of that, I’m making it the official soundtrack of my current season:-)

You Are Not Forgetten – Israel Houghton

People walking by, very seldom they say “hi”
they don’t know how wonderful you are
If they only knew all the things you’ve been through,
if only they could see your heart
I hear you crying for help, please don’t blame yourself..
You are not forgotten, you are not forgotten

When it’s time to go to sleep and you try your best to keep..yourself from falling apart.
There’s no need to fear, because I’m already here, and I’m the one who sees your heart..
I hear you crying for help, please don’t blame yourself..
You are not forgotten, you are not forgotten

You are not just a face in the crowd, you are not a forgotten child
Let Me whisper it loud, I love you, oh, I love you

You can hold your head up high, ’cause I’ll make everything alright, I’m committed to you smiling again
And eventually you’ll see people’s similarities, everyone just needs a friend..
And when they’re crying for help, you’ll be able to tell them, please tell them for Me
You are not forgotten, you are not forgotten
You are not forgotten, you are not forgotten