God Is Preparing A Miracle For Tomorrow

Image

“Before I will do something for you, I will first do something in you.”

This was shared in our Victory Group discussion more than a year ago during our series about the book of Joshua in the Bible. I know I could make use of this statement in my present season.

I’ve been plagued with so many worries and disappointments of late about the school where I’m currently working. Our class will already start on Monday but as of today, we only have 2 sure students enrolled (sure because they already paid) and one whose Mom told us she will pay on Monday during the first day of school.

This is seriously and obviously not the kind of scenario I envisioned myself to be into when I decided to leave my former school and accepted the offer of this present school’s director to spearhead his newly-established preschool. This is honestly becoming too difficult for me to handle and to grasp why I should endure this kind of hardships when I could just go on and have fun with my former students back in my former school. There are a lot of questions running in my mind. Why do I have to be here? Why did God place me here? Will there be a future in this place? What’s in store for me in the coming days?

But then again, I was reminded of this: I’m here because God wants me to be here. There’s no other place He’d want me to be right at this moment than to be here.

In all honesty, there were days when I just couldn’t get it. God wanted me to be here but I couldn’t even see His provisions and His blessings in this place. There were days when my patience is being pushed to the brim. I wanted to shout and scream in anguish and disappointment.

A good look under my working table put my sanity back. I was supposed to get my planner placed on the shelf under my table when I saw from the notebook piles my faith/prayer journal. I decided to get it and skim through its pages again.

Perhaps that was the very answer I was waiting for today.

I browsed through my journal and saw some of the posts I’ve written there about the miracles that God provided for me. There were simple ones and there were those that would really make you want to scream and shout to the top of your voice the goodness and greatness of God.

While reading some of my journal entries, I was also reminded of some of the mighty men and women in the Bible. At some point in their lives, they had to leave their comfort zone because God told them so and they faithfully followed. It could have been much easier for them had they chosen to stay where they used to be, but nevertheless, they chose to follow God and obey His will for their lives.

It was no easy feat. They also had their share of struggles and hardships. Some almost made them want to give up. But in all those moments, God was with them. He let them experience His power and love through all those hardships and struggles. he let them experienced those things so they could fully understand who He is in their lives and at the same time, fulfill their purposes.

I believe that is exactly what God is doing in me now. He put me in this place where there are lots of struggles and hardships because He wants to shape my character. He wants to increase my faith in Him. The entries in my journal reminded me once more that God’s love never change and He never change. The same God who provided for my needs and who answered my prayers then is still the same God whom I’m praying to and expecting answers from now.

I know that after I passed this trial and moved on from this season, I will all the more experience God’s glory and I will be more mature in my faith.

I just need to continue hoping and trusting in Him because He will never fail me. I need to trust His timing and focus on my faith in Him and His goodness rather than my fears and worries.

Thus today, even if there are only 4 days left before the start of the class, I will still believe that God will put a smile on my face on Monday.

I’m believing that right now, God is already working a miracle to surprise me tomorrow:-)

Advertisements

Holding The Hand You Cannot See

In times of trials and anguish, how will you hold on to the hand you cannot see?

Image

The worries of the unknown future keep trying to bring me down the past few weeks. When I decided to leave my comfort zone behind and followed what God wants me to do, I know that blessings would follow, but I also know that this leap of faith also entails a lot of trials and struggles as the enemy will never stop until I would say “I QUIT.”

I’ve been holding on to the promise of God that He will not forsake me nor leave me and that He will be with me till the end. In all honesty, there were days when I felt like giving up and just go back to my comfort zone–the former school which I left to obey God; a place where everything’s settled and I don’t have to worry for the number of enrollees or what strategy to use to promote the school; a place where I found the most pleasure and happiness being with the little bunch of angels I’ve grown to love with all my heart.

There were moments when I couldn’t contain my emotions anymore and I would just burst into tears while looking at my former students’ pictures. Yes, I’m a self-confessed drama queen. I’m a cry-baby and perhaps I’m the most ‘attached’ preschool teacher of all, the one who can never move on from the memories of her former students. I am missing them terribly and in most days, I would yearn to go back to the laid-back days when I would just wait for them to arrive in school and be excited of their new antics and just feel super blessed every time I get to have free sweet hugs and kisses from them.

I figured out, just now while I’m typing this, that these “I’m terribly missing them” moments were not just merely human emotions. These were also being used by the enemy to bring me down and quit this fight.

The struggles and the trials which accompanied this leap of faith didn’t fail to show up. Sometimes, I even feel that they’re sitting with me on the table while I’m doing my lesson plans and worksheets. I could hear them whispering to me, telling me that this sacrifice is of no use if it’s not making me happy and it’s just driving me nuts.

I was almost lured. But Father God told me to pause and look outside my window.

Image

I looked everywhere and above. My eyes seemed to find some sense of comfort looking at the fluffy bunch of clouds resting on their own place in the sky.

Indescribably, I found in my heart that peace I’ve been trying to look for the past few weeks. That small spark of hope I’ve been keeping in my treasure chest seemed to burst out and create a fireworks of excitement and Utopia within me.

No, I won’t give up. God’s been telling me never to give up. He’s been telling me to just be still. I may not see how He’s working but I just have to trust that He’s doing the works. I may be standing on the verge of uncertainty right now but I trust that God is faithful to His promises and that it was Him who put me into the very place, the season where I am now so I could understand and get to know Him more.

Prayer’s my best armor. I let my guard down and cried out to God, as if to let Him know what I’m really feeling even though I know that He’s already well aware of that. I prayed for bigger faith, a faith that could shut those negative whispers away from my ears and send those struggles and trials shaking in fear. I prayed for more patience that I could continue to wait on Him till the day He will reveal His purpose to me why He brought me to this place. I prayed for a change of heart, a heart that would no longer make room for worries and a heart would continue to trust Him and praise Him even if things are not going the way I’ve dreamed of it or envisioned it to be.

Though I couldn’t see His hand holding mine, God’s been so gracious to give me words of encouragement to empower me for the coming days:

Habakkuk 2:3 “For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it lingers, wait for it. It will certainly come and will not delay.”

Zechariah 10:1 “Ask the Lord for rain in the springtime; It is the Lord who makes the storm clouds. he gives showers of rain to men and plants of the field to everyone.”

Zechariah 8:3 ” As you have been an object of cursing among the nations, o Judah and Israel, so i will save you and you will be a blessing. Do not be afraid but let your hands be strong.”

These are some of the promises I’ve been holding on to since the start of this battle. I know that I will get through this through God’s grace. This will be another testimony I could share to other people once I finished this victoriously.

The clouds outside my window this afternoon, seemed to me, were assurance from God that things will be better and okay in the coming days. I know and I’m claiming that His blessings are on their way.

I may not see His hands holding mine but I know that God’s grip is stronger than mine. I know He’s not giving up on me. Who am I to give up on my God that easily? No way! The God I’m serving, whose hands I’m holding, and whose precious hands strongly holding mine, is bigger and greater than my present battle. And We will win this because He’s a God who never gives up. And I’m His daughter who chose to continue this fight and be on His side whatever it takes.

AFTERPIECE:

This song keeps playing in my head for days now. I know this was especially written for lovers but I believe this is very fitting for my present season:-)

“I Won’t Give Up”

Hmmmm … Hmmmm … Hmmmm … Hmmm …When I look into your eyes
It’s like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There’s so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you’ve come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up

And when you’re needing your space
To do some navigating
I’ll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

‘Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We’ve got a lot to learn
God knows we’re worth it
No, I won’t give up

I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not
And who I am

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
Still looking up.

I won’t give up on us (no I’m not giving up)
God knows I’m tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We’ve got a lot to learn (we’re alive, we are loved)
God knows we’re worth it (and we’re worth it)

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up