“Before I will do something for you, I will first do something in you.”
This was shared in our Victory Group discussion more than a year ago during our series about the book of Joshua in the Bible. I know I could make use of this statement in my present season.
I’ve been plagued with so many worries and disappointments of late about the school where I’m currently working. Our class will already start on Monday but as of today, we only have 2 sure students enrolled (sure because they already paid) and one whose Mom told us she will pay on Monday during the first day of school.
This is seriously and obviously not the kind of scenario I envisioned myself to be into when I decided to leave my former school and accepted the offer of this present school’s director to spearhead his newly-established preschool. This is honestly becoming too difficult for me to handle and to grasp why I should endure this kind of hardships when I could just go on and have fun with my former students back in my former school. There are a lot of questions running in my mind. Why do I have to be here? Why did God place me here? Will there be a future in this place? What’s in store for me in the coming days?
But then again, I was reminded of this: I’m here because God wants me to be here. There’s no other place He’d want me to be right at this moment than to be here.
In all honesty, there were days when I just couldn’t get it. God wanted me to be here but I couldn’t even see His provisions and His blessings in this place. There were days when my patience is being pushed to the brim. I wanted to shout and scream in anguish and disappointment.
A good look under my working table put my sanity back. I was supposed to get my planner placed on the shelf under my table when I saw from the notebook piles my faith/prayer journal. I decided to get it and skim through its pages again.
Perhaps that was the very answer I was waiting for today.
I browsed through my journal and saw some of the posts I’ve written there about the miracles that God provided for me. There were simple ones and there were those that would really make you want to scream and shout to the top of your voice the goodness and greatness of God.
While reading some of my journal entries, I was also reminded of some of the mighty men and women in the Bible. At some point in their lives, they had to leave their comfort zone because God told them so and they faithfully followed. It could have been much easier for them had they chosen to stay where they used to be, but nevertheless, they chose to follow God and obey His will for their lives.
It was no easy feat. They also had their share of struggles and hardships. Some almost made them want to give up. But in all those moments, God was with them. He let them experience His power and love through all those hardships and struggles. he let them experienced those things so they could fully understand who He is in their lives and at the same time, fulfill their purposes.
I believe that is exactly what God is doing in me now. He put me in this place where there are lots of struggles and hardships because He wants to shape my character. He wants to increase my faith in Him. The entries in my journal reminded me once more that God’s love never change and He never change. The same God who provided for my needs and who answered my prayers then is still the same God whom I’m praying to and expecting answers from now.
I know that after I passed this trial and moved on from this season, I will all the more experience God’s glory and I will be more mature in my faith.
I just need to continue hoping and trusting in Him because He will never fail me. I need to trust His timing and focus on my faith in Him and His goodness rather than my fears and worries.
Thus today, even if there are only 4 days left before the start of the class, I will still believe that God will put a smile on my face on Monday.
I’m believing that right now, God is already working a miracle to surprise me tomorrow:-)
My Piece of Sanctuary 